Of Angels and Memories
by woebegone
Summary: Before Harry, or Hogwarts, or witchery, or gelousey, Lily and Petunia were Angels deeply in love. Lily is dead now, but the pain of falling from grace is too much to hide. The truth must be told.
1. Baby Angel's Broken Wings

Chapter One Baby Angel's Broken Wings  
  
What sort of visions do you have of us? Lily and James Potter; steely ghosts that dance on gray clouds over the inky black sky of the Hogwarts grounds when ever poor Harry dares to dream of his fallen predecessors. Romantic enough for you? Or how about this? Lily Potter, fair soul begets attractive body. Okay so maybe that one's a bit stuck up. But it isn't far from the truth. The advantageous thing about being a "phantom", as you so colorfully call it, is that the shields people insist on putting up, don't exist. That is, with out skin, or flesh, or bone, or stealthy sentiment, every thought, and desire, and passion is revealed. In a sense, with out even trying I can read your mind, her mind, his mind.  
  
What dose this have to do with anything? Well, to be blunt, you people have some shitty ass ideas about my husband and I. Not that they aren't wonderful, they are... too glorious in fact. We don't want to be put up on a pedestal like that. So I have made it my personal mission to set the story straight. I have fond that conveying my will to an individual to write down is the perfect way to get my point across. Oh, yes there are other ways, but they involve several difficult spells and revealing myself to my son. With all he's been through lately, I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. Besides, it would evoke some uncomfortable questions.  
  
First thing's first; my sister. I love my sister I do, and in spite of her actions she loves me too. I know it seems very hard to believe but we were once very close, Petunia and I. I miss those days. I think the only way to really understand what happened, about how much she means to me, is to take you back with me and relive, not only my memories, but her's.  
  
I was born Lilith Lee Sanderus in Bristol on January 9th, 1964. My mum had me in my bedroom. She was born in her bedroom; my gran was born in her bedroom and so on. It's a family tradition stretching twelve generations with the exemption of my uncles. They were triplets and had to be born in a hospital to avoid complications.  
  
We, my sister and I, grew up in a large beautiful house with a garden in the back that seemed more like a forest then any thing else. My dad was obsessed with exotic birds, plants, trees, and fruit, anything that grew. I think he shaped me more then anyone else in my life. He use to say, "Nothing is ever wrong unless you get caught." If it weren't for that phrase, I probably wouldn't have fallen in love with James. But that's another story. He taught me to love every living thing, and consider every thing to be living. What a hypocrite.  
  
Petunia was born when I was three. I remember anxiously waiting outside her room, desperate for a peek.  
  
"Come on mum, please. I want to see." I said in a very whiny voice.  
  
"No, darling, mummy's very tiered right now, so give mummy a day to relax alright?" she said in the soft voice that I would recognized anywhere.  
  
"Please," I said again, bouncing up and down the way only a three year old could.  
  
"I said no," she said, and this time her testiness bled through her voice.  
  
I put on a very sullen face and slouched away with my head down and my hands in my pockets. I walked all the way to the stairs and twirled around before seating myself on the very last step, sighing.  
  
"Lilith," I heard from the other end of the house where the kitchen was. I looked up and saw my dad motioning to me. I got up and trotted off toward him. He bent down and whispered, "Fallow me," in my ear with a smile. We walked across the dinning room to the back door and before opening it he asked me, "Do you really want to see your sister?" I nodded vigorously and he opened the door.  
  
He walked me around the back of the house, passed the many tall graceful trees and the rock fountain in the grove of bushes and right up to a small, white trimmed window. "That's your sister's new room," he said, pointing at the window.  
  
"Really?" I asked, "Can I look?"  
  
"I can't guaranty that you'll see anything," he said, but then he bent down and whispered, "Just don't tell your mother."  
  
I smiled brightly and he lifted me into the air with his strong arms and planted me down on a tap right underneath the window. The small purple flowers my father and I had planted the year before tickled my feet and made me trip. He caught me and held me like a baby for a few seconds, and I had to hold my breath to keep from laughing out loud. Back on the tap I peered through the window, and saw a small figure in my mom's arms. I looked back at my father, giggling, excitement flooding through my veins. The birds seemed to sing Petunia's praises, that small child wrapped in a light blue flees blanket. I watched her more intently then I had ever watched anything before in my life. The minutes flew by and before I knew it Dad was asking, "Ready to go back inside?"  
  
"No," I said simply.  
  
"We don't want mummy to see us do we? We'd get in trouble."  
  
"No," I said again, shaking my head playfully. I insisted on taking in every thing; the smell of flowers and baby powder, the way the sun reflected off the glass, the sound of her music box playing her softly to sleep. I burned it all into my memory, and it was a long time before I would let my father bring me back inside. Despite the immersive, aw inspiring quality of the moment, I couldn't help noticing that my mother's face seemed a bit. odd. She wasn't smiling, she didn't look happy, nor did she look sad, or angry. The only thing I could compare it to was a doll's face, lifeless.  
  
As soon as we were back in the dining room I turned to my father and said very obnoxiously, "She's my Petunia, not yours. You can't have her."  
  
"I can't?" he said with a silly little pout on his face. "Can't we at lest share her. We'll cut her in half and you can give me the butt end."  
  
"No daddy that would hurt her."  
  
"Oh, are you sure about that?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh alright then, you can have her for a kiss," he said. I kissed him on the cheek and ran off into my room to play; completely unaware of how literal my words would soon turn out to be.  
  
I was her first word, sort of; she was the first one to call me Lily. It stuck. For five years we were carefree and innocent together. One of my first memories of playing with Petunia was of us chasing a butterfly. Yeah, a butterfly. Petunia simply adored it. She said it looked like a monster flattened paper thin. In the summer we would plunge into an inflatable pool, spending hours in contest of who could make the largest splash, and who could swim to the other side the fastest. I would always let her win. In the winter when it rained we would curl up under the same blanket and I would read to her. Her favorite was The Ugly Duckling.  
  
Night after night we would look up into the stars and make up adventures to rival living as a witch, marked for death by the most powerful, evil wizard ever. Okay, maybe not to that extent, but they were good. Mine were always a bit gorier then her's and her's were always a lot more mushy then mine.  
  
So what happened? What could possibly have destroyed such a glorious vision of perfect sisterhood? That very question has hunted me for fifteen long years. Especially since I've seen what her... her hatred for me has made her do to Harry. She was never like me, Petunia. The bottom line is that she couldn't take what life gave her; she never had the support to handle it. My parents never wanted her and they diligently showed it.  
  
They had taken steps to prevent having more children. They seemed to be of the opinion that if God had intended for us to have loads of children He would have made us rabbits. And my mother's Post Partum Depression didn't help either, not even I could count on her for much for a year or so. My mum blamed Petunia for her year in Hell, and my father just went right along. He never did have much of a back bone. He didn't hate Petunia at first, but like with all great lies if you repeat it long enough you eventually start to believe it.  
  
I tried to protect her from it. I tried to make up for what my parents lacked. But I soon became tired of acting like her mommy. That wasn't it though. Most of it was petty, but some of it was down right cruel.  
  
My magical abilities manifested early and by the time Petunia went to school odd happenings were common place. The children at school were afraid of me and I didn't blame them. Once, a boy called Adrian was picking on me and. something happened.  
  
"Move over, Wicked Witch," he said, bumping me so hard I fell to the floor. "What did you have for lunch? Toto?"  
  
"What'd you do that for?" I said, trying very hard not to revel how angry I was. 'The worst thing you could ever do in battle,' my father would say 'is give your opponent the emotional upper hand.'  
  
Adrian gasped and backed away. "It speaks!" he said in mock astonishment.  
  
"Shut up, Adrian! And give me back my seat!" I said, quickly loosing my temper.  
  
"Or what, you'll sick your flying monkeys on me?" He stood up and started flapping his arms about, screeching.  
  
"Come on Lily, lets go," my friend said, grabbing my arm, but I pulled it away from her, every one at the table was now laughing and I wasn't about to walk away from a fight.  
  
"Aoh, s-she's about to curse me!" he said in a panicked voice, though he was still smiling. "Kill it! Kill it!" he shouted. Then he did the worst thing he could think of, and picked up a cup of water, splashing me in the face.  
  
Every one stopped snickering and looked anxiously at me. Adrian was no longer laughing but looking very smug. I flushed a deep beat red, anger rose from the bottom of my feet to the tip of my head. My legs developed a mind of their own and before I knew it I had thrown myself on top of him. I sat on him, beating his arrogant little face in and covering my hands with blood from his nose. A teacher rushed up behind me and pried me off of him. Held back by the teacher I thought I couldn't do any thing. But I was wrong.  
  
A wish, a simple wish to hurt him made it happen. Before my eyes he was lifted into the air, his feet dangling like chains beneath him. He stayed in the air like that for a few seconds frantically searching my eyes for mercy but finding none. With the force of a wrecking ball, I through him against the wall with my mind and watched with an insane sort of relish because this wasn't the first time he'd made a full of me in front of the school. From the kitchens an army of knives flew through the air at him on my command. They pinned him to the wall, some catching only clothing, and some cutting him so deeply that a puddle of thick crimson blood gathered on the black and white tile floor.  
  
With the corner of my eye I saw my friend, shaking with fear and looking at me like I were a monster. The look on her face snapped me back from the edge of the abyss. Adrian dropped to the floor in a limp heap with a dull sort of thud. I stared at him for a moment with just as much fear as the rest of the school and then I bolted.  
  
I could have been prosecuted for that. I should have been prosecuted for that. I ran through the busy streets all the way back home and hid myself in the small nook of bushes that surrounded the water fall and cried for hours. The only thing I could think of as I listened to the normally soothing water trickling down into it's small pool, was that at any moment the police would be coming to the front door and they would take me away from my family. I worried myself sick about what would happen to Petunia when I was gone, about who would take care of her.  
  
But the police never came. Latter I found out that a wizard in the right place at the right time saw the incident. He contacted the Ministry of Magic and several Obliviators had a field day at the school, modifying every ones memory. It was very hard for me to go back to school after that, but after that no one teased me. Even though no one remembered anything, the raw fear was still there. This is why Petunia became subject to daily torment, and they did far worst to her then they had ever done to me. My stomach burned with guilt every time anyone would say something about her. And so much worst then that, the more isolated she was the more revered I became, so she spent her days looking longingly at me. To add fuel to the fire my parents sent her to a camp for bad spellers for a week; at lest that's what they had told me.  
  
I spent as much time as I could get away with at school with her. She and I were petting a wild rabbit that had wondered on to the school yard, when a few of my "friends" called me over to join their club. When Petunia asked if she could go too they disgustedly looked at each other and said it was full. I still vividly remembered when they disliked me and in fear of them reverting to old habits I didn't dare stick up for her as they laughed in her face.  
  
"I'm sorry," I whispered to Petunia and fallowed them across the school.  
  
She watched me as long as she could handle, then turned to the rabbit and said, "At lest you won't abandon me." It then hopped away from her despite her desperate attempts to grab it.  
  
She looked down at the place where the rabbit had been. "I hate animals! I hate..." but she couldn't bring herself to say the next word. Not just then at lest. So she flopped down on the grass and closed her eyes, basking in the sun. She let the soft rays penetrate her skin, it warmed her dark young spirit, embracing her the way no one else would. I say no one because even I was starting to have reservations about her. A child must be a child before he or she can give such love. Or so I keep telling myself.  
  
Again she slipped peacefully into daydreams of better times to come. Fantasies of children laughing and playing with the sprinklers on the front lawn of a two story suburban house danced like ballerinas in her brain. Two blond little girls and a sandy hard boy, just like his father. She conjured him up in her minds eye as perfect as if he were standing before her right now. Tall and muscular, never afraid to protect her or the children from even the most trivial of foes. Clean shaven and with eyes so blue, if you looked in them too long you could drown in a sea of ecstasy. Sensitive to a fault, and oh how romantic.  
  
She could just see the two of them sway under the stars in a gold and crystal gazebo when she noticed that someone was blocking her light. When she opened her eyes it was to find none other then Adrian and his minions.  
  
Petunia hastily got to her feet, and looked determinedly into Adrian's cold eyes. He may have been four years older then she was, and he may have exhibited the air of a nuclear weapon, but he was a cowered. It was either one or the other with him, no gray; he'd either turn tail and run, or beat her until a teacher came to separate them. How anyone could allow such a boy to go to school was beyond her. But it wasn't that simple. If truth be told he didn't quite know why he did what he did. All he knew was that something about me... me, not Petunia, frightened him so much that he had to lash out at it. But he didn't dare touch me, because even though he couldn't remember the incident with the knives the marks, both visible and invisible, we're still there. Petunia was an easy target.  
  
There were only three courses of action now. Fight, flight, or join. Petunia was loyal and very stubborn. She would allow no bully to bluster her, and she would grant no enemy the satisfaction of seeing her back. So that left only fight. It had been that way many times before, but this time was to be different. Something in the pit of her hearts of hearts was changing; it was weary, and fed up with blind allegiance. All it needed was one strong push, and it would snap.  
  
Adrian was pissed about something; you could see it in those fathomless eyes of his. He said nothing, gave none of his usual witty remarks or lies but went strait to work instead. He pounced like cheetah and Petunia's head bounced off the grass. Petunia was hit again and again, and she cried my name with each blinding stab. They were so far away from the play ground that no one heard them and no one could come to Petunia's rescue. Because of that Adrian was able to do things he had only dreamed of. She began to have hallucinations of creators poring molten steel over her body, turning her flesh into a raw, black and red, bobbling, snack for gargoyles. It was the only way her brain could cope and explain the pain. For those four minutes she lived for four centuries in the seventh circle of Hell.  
  
When Adrian finally stood to survey his handy work, Petunia was nothing more then a broken, bleeding pile twisted flesh. It was a mark of how tough Petunia was that she did what she did next. Barely conscious and hardly able to breath she uttered the most dangerous question one could possibly conceive of: "Why?"  
  
Sufficed to say Adrian hadn't expected this. He fixed her with a stare to chill bone marrow, creating a lie as he stared Petunia down. He chose his words very carefully. "I didn't do anything to you," he said dilatorily. He kneeled down and turned Petunia's head in my direction. "She is the one that hurt you. Don't you see? Haven't you noticed? You call her name and she doesn't come. You beg for her attention and she doesn't give it to you. Personally I have nothing against you. But that one over there, that girl that is admired by so many has it in for me. And you."  
  
"Lily's never hurt me," she said, looking at me with eyes blurred by tears.  
  
"Hasn't she?" Adrian whispered getting even closer to Petunia's limp body. "She could hear you screaming for help and she didn't care. She staid and played with the girls that continually laugh in your face. It's easy to see that she doesn't love you. I'm just trying to help you. You see that don't you." He looked at Petunia and continued. If he played his cards right he could very well have another sycophant on his side by the end of the week. "She's dangerous, Petunia, she's different. Everything was fine until she came to this school and now nothing's right. I've never told anyone this but you have to know. A few months after she first came hear I woke up with marks all over my arms, and legs, and stomach." He lifted up his sleeve to show her the scars left by the knives that had pinned him to the wall. "I can't explain it. Only when I came to school that day everyone seemed rather afraid of your dear sister. I don't want to see you get hurt like I was, and it's going to happen if you don't listen to me. Sooner or later you're going to end up unconscious in an alley and it's going to be because of her. She isn't right! I can help you; I can protect you from her." He stood up again and watched her with feigned concern. "Think about it," he said calling his gang over with a flick of his wrist. He left her lying there, half-alive, and seriously doubting me. 


	2. The Oath

Chapter Two  
The Oath  
  
No one found her until lunch ended and her teacher, after calling role, saw that she wasn't in class. She sent one of her more trustworthy students out to look for her. The girl fond Petunia on the lawn and after that no one could function very normally. Adrian stood behind a tree and laughed morosely. But the others were genuinely shocked; no matter how much they disliked her, they never wanted to see her that hurt. Every one had that "I'm so sorry," look on their faces when they talked to me. It was because of them that the E.M.T.'s allowed me to accompany her on the ambulance. Nothing is worst then listening to a load of nine and ten year olds beg. News cameras and reporters followed us all the way to the hospital. I refused to leave Petunia's side when we reached the hospital, even if it meant watching behind a plate glass window with a mask.  
  
Mum and dad were furious. Not because she'd been hurt, oh no, what they cared about was the bill. For three days I lived in that emergency room, listening to the steady beeps that monitored her heart. Beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep. I read to her her favorite books over again. I had heard some where that a familiar voice is suppose to speed up recovery. I nearly went mad questioning myself. Was there anything I could have done? Was there any permanent damage? What if I hadn't gone with toughs girls? Who did this? What if she never comes around?  
  
But of course she did. On Saturday, around noon. She slowly opened one bleary eye; looked at me, then at the room, taking in the white walls and tiles, the blue curtain that surrounded her bed, the catheters, and heavy machinery. Then she closed them again and fell asleep.  
  
It took nearly two days after that for her to make any sense when talking. But she didn't talk much after she could. She'd just lie there, starring numbly at the sealing, Adrian's words tumbling through her head again and again. Of course I didn't know that at the time. I've found most of this out post death.  
  
I did everything I could to make her comfortable, but still she refrained from saying sentences longer then three or four words long. She had never been so distant from me.  
  
"What is it?" I asked her after a while, sounding a bit more irritated then I had intended.  
  
"Nothing," she replied in a dead sort of monotone voice.  
  
"Rubbish," I told her. "Don't play games with me, Petunia, I know you too well for that."  
  
She looked me in the eyes for the first time since we were petting that rabbit back at school. But her expression was hard, and almost defiant, not at all like my Petunia. "Do you?" she said.  
  
"Yes," I said sitting by her bed on a white, wood chair. "Tell me why you're so upset with me."  
  
"What makes you think I'm upset with you?" she said, as if daring me to pursue the issue.  
  
"Well, for one thing you haven't said so little to me since you were two." She gave me a perverse snort. "For another," I said in a far more parental voice, "we always said that in times of need we would turn to each other. I have your back and you have mine. Remember? You're not holding up your end of the bargain."  
  
Petunia's expression softened, but she still sounded quite dubious when she said, "Things change."  
  
"Some things change," I agreed. "But were blood," I said grabbing her hand. "Were sisters, Petunia, and I will always be there for you. Please, please tell me what's wrong?"  
  
It took a long time for her to answer, but when she did she sounded very choked up. "He said you were different, Lily. He said you didn't love me."  
  
"Who did?"  
  
"Adrian."  
  
"Adrian?! Adrian did this to you?!" I shouted, leaping to my feet.  
  
Petunia put her hand out and pulled me back down. "Lily, please. Don't go making a scene, it doesn't matter who did what. The point is, Lily, he said you were dangerous."  
  
"Adrian's had a grudge against me for a very long time. You shouldn't listen to anything he says."  
  
Petunia shook her head in assent, but she still didn't look very convinced. "He said you did something to him. He said he doesn't remember what, but it made every one afraid of you."  
  
I slowly turned and looked at her, my heart doing a weird sort of drum roll. "Blimey," I said in panic, sticking my head in my hand.  
  
"What is it? What did you do? Tell me."  
  
I looked up at her, took a deep breath, but nothing came out. I couldn't tell her. What would she think of me if she knew?  
  
"Tell me," she repeated.  
  
And I knew that if I didn't tell her, I would loose her forever. "I don't know how he could have forgotten," I said, not really attached to this world anymore. I started off slow and delicately, but soon my voice and heart had all the vigor as if I were right there, doing it all over again. I felt the power tingle the tips of my fingers, felt the perverted pleasure of hurting such an evil person so badly, rush through my veins like morphine. I was startled to find myself sitting by my sister's bed when I finished. Petunia looked at me with a mixture of astonishment and fear.  
  
"I don't know why it happened, but you have to believe me when I tell you that I'm not dangerous."  
  
It took her a while but slowly she nodded her head, and then whispered, "I would have done the same," she broke into a wide, comforting smile, and we both giggled.  
  
I looked intently at her and held her hand again. "No matter what happens," I said, "no matter what may come. Know this; I will always love you. Remember that." I don't know what compelled me to say that, but I did. A bit rich for an eight year old? Perhaps. But I believe that when fate tells you to draw the short straw, it feels obligated to make up for it. Maybe that's why all the greats died young.  
  
Petunia looked at me for a moment, unable to say anything. Then she launched herself at me and held me as she softly cried. She let all the poisonous tears that had been bottled up for so long go. But even if her heart was telling her that I loved her, and that I hadn't meant for anything to happen to her, her mind still felt differently. Her head had convinced her heart once that I was out to get her, that she should fear me, that she should hate me, and it left a worry punctuated with doubt in her soul. That mark would always be there, a loose bolt, waiting for something to break it free. 


	3. Saint Napoleon

Chapter Three  
Saint Napoleon  
  
The years grew shorter as they often do when you get older. We didn't go back to the same school after Petunia got back from the hospital. Mum and Dad thought it wasn't safe. Especially when they found out that Adrian had a thing against me too.  
  
Then my letter from Hogwarts came. Petunia stayed very clear from that hullabaloo. She didn't blame me for what happened to Adrian, but she still thought that magic was very dangerous. Mum and Dad were so exited for me they through me a party because of it. The letter had told them not to inform any of my Muggle friends that I was a witch so they invited them under the pretence of me leaving for school. Making up creative excuses never was their forte.  
  
Through out the entire day I couldn't help but feel Petunia's gaze burning into the back of my head. As soon as most of the guests had left I went over to her. She stood against the living room wall with her arms crossed. "What's wrong," I asked her.   
  
"Nothing," she said. "Just thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
She shook her head and said, "It doesn't matter right now. Congratulations."  
  
"Thanks. I'm so glad I know that I'm not going mad now."  
  
Petunia gave a very forced hallow laugh. She looked at her feet, her face drawn down like a melting wax portrait. I didn't know at the time what was wrong but I wasn't about to just stand there and feel sorry for her. I looked around at the dwindling crowed and found that an old "friend" that I just kept around for prestige was still there. Petunia had always hated her. I poked her on the shoulder of her red sweeter and whispered in her ear, "You know I'm thinking of doing something very wicked before I leave?"  
  
Petunia instantly lifted her head, her eyes twinkled with mischievousness. "I'm listening."  
  
"You see Lexein over there? Standing by the refreshments, stuffing her face?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
I leaned in very close to her and whispered my plan in such low terms that even she had to strain to hear me. Less then a minute latter we were at Lexein's side. "So, Lexein, enjoying yourself?" Petunia asked cordially.  
  
Lexein turned her head and looked Petunia up and down. "Oh, I thought the circus had already come to take you away."  
  
"I wouldn't let my tongue be so loose if I were you."  
  
"Why not," she asked pompously.  
  
"Because a certain something might get upset. Your right you know, something did come to take me away. But it wasn't the circus. I've just had a monitoring device driven into my skull. It monitors my emotions and thoughts and all too easily I could have a certain someone killed. Alexandria sends her regards."  
  
Alexandria was her older sister. She had run away more then a year ago but Lexein was convinced that she had been abducted by aliens. "Shut up you freak," she said, shacking in fear.  
  
I was crouched under the table and in a very low voice a whispered, "Help me. Please, Lexein, don't let them take me."  
  
Lexein nearly wet her pants as she ran backward toward the door and out into the night. Petunia and I stood laughing until our sides hurt. She put her hand up and I gave her a high five. "So what do you think it'll be like over there?"  
  
"Oh, I have no idea. All I know is that the headmaster is someone called Dumbledore. It's going to be strange, sleeping with a bunch of other girls, not being able to go home for dinner."  
  
"Lily, you're going to a school for magic and you think that is going to be strange?"  
  
Oh she was more then a little right about that. The first night there I walked through a ghost, met a seven foot tall man, got my foot trapped in a trick step, carried on a very verbose conversation with a panting, and eat dinner under the light of several hundred floating candles. I got into the habit of sneaking out at night and exploring the forest around the grounds, which was forbidden to all pupils, and for very good reasons. There are giant spiders, vampires, and gargoyles in there, among other things. I met James on one of my expeditions, but like I said that's another story. I took to my classes very easily.  
I didn't exactly hold fast to Hogwarts rule of refraining from using magic at home when the school year was over. My ability to turn tea cups into rats didn't seem to amuse Petunia as much as it did my parents; as a matter of fact it seemed to make her a bit weary of me. I would reverently talk about James to her even before I fell for him. I didn't realize it at the time but even though she was three years younger then me, hearing me talk about James made Petunia feel like there was a hole in her soul. But then she didn't have to live with that feeling for very long, because at the tender age of thirteen, she met Napoleon.  
  
Petunia was in a public library after school on a crisp fall day. It was an unusually warm day with a light breeze that ruffled the leaves, falling like a thick gold and brown rain. With arms full of books, and a heart unusually full of hope, she left the library. Then, vision obstructed by a timely leaf, Petunia ran head long into him. Books and papers went flying every where and they both hit the floor.  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry!" were his first words to her, "Here let me help you pick these up."  
  
Half way through picking up her history homework she looked up at the mystery man she had nearly sent flying to the moon. Her fist reaction was to gasp. It was him, the man from her dream, right down to the last strand of sandy hair.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asked uncertainly.  
  
Petunia could only vaguely nod for shock. After a few seconds of gaping into those painfully beautiful eyes she came to her senses. She looked back down, 'Get a grip on yourself, Petunia. He's probably nothing like-Oh dear God.' The last book she had picked up sent her reeling strait to loony vill: Tales of passion 30 years of collected romantic poetry. "You read poetry?" she asked breathlessly.  
  
"Yeah, well sort of. I'm only reading it because Madam Enose thought it would help me with my portrayal of Romeo."  
  
"You act?"  
  
"Dance. Ballet. Personally I don't think Shakespeare should be messed with. But she seems to like it."  
  
That was too much for Petunia, and her legs gave way beneath her. He caught her in a flash; the only thing Petunia could think was 'Holly shit! '   
  
"Are you sure you're all right? Hear, why don't we sit down for a moment? The kids will understand."  
  
"Kids?" Petunia asked as she was led to a bench a few feet away.  
  
"I read to the kids in there every Wednesday. They're adorable."  
  
"Oh, really?" The idea of having children was the most beautiful idea Petunia ever had the pleaser of wrapping her brain around. Sometimes it was the only thing to keep her going. He like children, and looked exactly like the man from her dreams. That was worth at least a little intrigue.   
  
Petunia was very mature for her age, full and pretty. She smuggled herself back into the library to watch him read. He glowed around the children and said every word with passion. Petunia blushed like a rose when he looked up and saw her. He smiled and winked, which made every molecule in Petunia's body quiver pleasantly in embarrassment. She had never felt so happy, so young, or so alive.   
  
Petunia crawled along the book shelves when he made to leave. She kept low to the ground so he wouldn't see her, which attracted the attention of several curious children. She smiled at them and put her finger to her lips. She then looked down the library and waited until he had left before making her move. A bush right outside the library hid her as she fallowed him with her eyes. He got onto a black motorcycle with a red flame painted across the side. It rumbled passed her and she caught another gimps of him through his rearview mirror.   
  
Her trek continued threw out the day. She watched at a distance as he mailed some letters, did his laundry, visited a friend, and cashed his check. She wasn't the best of stalkers and he soon started to notice that she was fallowing him.   
  
He was at the grocery store when he let her know that he knew. Petunia kept one aisle over to him and rushed down to the other end when he changed aisles. He threw a can of tomato soup into his cart and moved to the next aisle. Petunia ran down the rows of canned food and poked her head around the corner to find herself face to face with her blue eyed, sandy haired babe.   
  
He smiled coyly and said, "Are you fallowing me?"  
  
Petunia was quick to recover this time and said, "Are watching me?"  
  
His smile grew and after a second he said, "You first."  
  
"No you," Petunia said immediately.  
  
He looked at her for a moment, just as lost in her gaze as she was in his. "You really are a weird one," he said, shaking his head and wheeling his cart off in the opposite direction.   
  
Petunia fallowed and said, "You didn't answer my question."  
  
"Neither did you," he said without a backward glance.  
  
Petunia ran around and put her hands on either side of his cart. She had to find out if he were real, she had to figure out if she had finally lost it or if her dream had finally come true. "Answer the question."   
  
He thought for a moment and then said, "Only if you promise to answer mine."  
  
Petunia bowed her head.  
  
"Yes." He said quickly.  
  
Petunia smiled and then said, "Yes."  
  
After a minute of blind staring he asked, "Would you like to get a cup of coffee?"  
He took her to the coffee shop across the street from his apartment. It was a cozy place with a lot of old pictures and everyone seemed to know each other. After the third woman waved merrily to him she asked, "Drink a lot of coffee?"  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm hear every morning, and evening, and afternoon actually."  
  
"I'll remember that. Coffee drinkers are always up to no good. So what's your name anyway?"  
  
"Napoleon. Napoleon McArgea. You?"  
  
"Petunia. You don't look very short to me."  
  
He laughed and said, "I don't normally go by Napoleon. We moved around a lot when I was little. I was always the new kid in school and since it was similar to my given name the kids called me Neo. As it turns out the name that was created out of a joke is the name everyone calls me, including my parents."  
  
"Neo. I like it," Petunia said.  
  
Neo shook his head and said, "Have I met you before?"  
  
"I could never forget your face." She blushed the second the words fell out of her mouth. For some reason it had sounded a lot less corny in her own head.  
  
"Is that a line?"  
  
"No. I don't use lines. Lovers come and go. The only love that's eternal is the one between families."  
  
"Lovers can't have eternal love?" he asked rhetorically. He leaned closer and whispered, "Are you up for incest, sister."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
Neo walked Petunia all the way home that night. He gave her his phone number and then tried to kiss her. Petunia grabbed the handle and backed up through the door before Neo could touch her. She stood in the frame and clicked her tongue at him, shaking her finger playfully. She closed the door on his face and slid down to the floor, letting her smile illuminate the darkened room like a ray of sunshine  
Not to sound like a bad Hallmark card, but Neo and Petunia were meant to meet, to fall in love, to dream the same dreams. Their destiny has been intertwined from the beginning of time. This was most apparent when they shared their first kiss. Neo took her to his grandfather's orchard for spring brake, a cherry grove. All the flowers were in bloom, and dropping like the feathers of so many patron saints. The sky an ebony so clear you could see to the end of the universe and back. Stars to make the soul weep, and a sent to make the heart sing. And the full moon hung in the air like the eye of a goddess starring and smiling at them. They walked hand in hand, Petunia's head on Neo's chest.  
  
"Where are you taking me?" she asked roguishly.  
  
"You'll see," he said. "It's a secret."  
  
"That doesn't make me feel overly confident."  
  
"Don't worry, love. You'll like it," he said, looking at her with puppy dog eyes. That look always made Petunia wither.  
  
Slowly they made their way through the orchard. Finally they reached a place were the view was obstructed by a large white blanket tide to two trees. Petunia looked at him in an opened mouth smile.  
  
"What are you playing at?" she said.  
  
"Close your eyes," he said in a low, sensual voice. "Go on, close them."  
  
She took a deep breath and shut her eyes.  
  
"Now, make a wish."  
  
"Neo, this is silly!" she said, laughing.  
  
"Make a wish," he repeated.  
  
Giggling to the pit of her stomach she gave in and made a wish, 'I wish... I wish to spend all my life with Neo.' "Okay, there. Happy, now?"  
  
Neo took her hand and laggardly walked her through the blanket, making her want to pop with excitement and giddiness like a mercury thermometer. They stopped.  
  
"Keep them closed," he said as Petunia tried to peek. "'Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee; sounds of the rude world heard in the day, lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away! Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song, list while I woo thee with soft melody; gone are the cares of life's busy throng-- beautiful dreamer, awake unto me! Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea mermaids are chaunting the wild lorelie; over the streamlet vapors are borne, waiting to fade at the bright coming morn. Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart, e'en as the morn on the streamlet and sea; then will all clouds of sorrow depart-- beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!"  
  
That was it. She was finished. It didn't matter what he showed her now. She would adore it even if it were a barrel full of dead, skinned snakes with fly's buzzing all around them. She'd welcome it with open arms and kiss it with candy apple lips.  
  
"Beautiful dreamer," he whispered, "open your eyes."  
  
"Oh my God!" she said through clasped hands. It wasn't real, it couldn't be real! How? How in haven's name did he know?! It was her gazebo! She gapped open mouthed, looking from Neo to this impossible scene.  
  
Neo stood in front of her, one hand behind his back, the other held out for her's. "Shall we dance?"  
  
Petunia, who was now close to tears, couldn't answer. She took his hand and was led onto the delicate, see through floor.  
  
"Do you like it?" he asked her after a few minutes. "My grandfather, after he met my grandmother, had it mad for their wedding. They've spent every anniversary dancing underneath it ever since," he posed then went on. "I know this is going to sound a little mad, but, I've dreamt about this place ever since I was little. Not just of my grandparents, not just a vague vision of fairy tale love. It was exactly like this, the stars, the trees, the sounds, the moon... you."  
  
Petunia stopped dancing and stood, looking at him. "You're not serious?"  
  
"I'm very serious. I've memorized every one of your curves in my dreams, and daydreams. You do like it, don't you?"   
  
"I couldn't not like it if I tried," she put her head back on Neo's chest and felt that she was going to float off the face of the Earth, "Kiss me," she said abruptly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Kiss me," she repeated. "So I know it isn't a dream. For as long as I've lived I've seen this moment too. I've seen you, as perfect and brilliant as you are. I thought you were an angel. I thought you were there to protect me, to keep me sane," a tear scuttled down her face as she spoke. "I didn't think you were really real. Even after I met you I--" but she couldn't speak after that. In a great animal show of heavenly passion he kissed her. Days could have passed without ether of them noticing; locked in the glorious rays of absolute devotion. To Petunia it was so magnificent it was painful. For the fist time in a long time, she was truly alive. 


	4. Confessions

Chapter Four  
Confessions  
  
Petunia and Neo were famous together. They danced under the stars, talked about the future and their children names, (Neo preferred the name Dudley, for a boy). They wrestled like children, cuddled like the elderly, and made love like beasts. For years they had the world at their finger tips. Every year at spring Neo would take Petunia back to his grandfather's orchard. Those trips were always special to Petunia, but one, the last one, was particularly special.  
  
Petunia lay asleep in the small wood cabin Neo's father owned, the soft trickle of rain exuded there way into pleasant dreams -- dreams of Neo serenading her on a Mexican terrace. It would be something he'd do. His voice, so harsh when it came to singing in the real world, resonated like a French opera singer. His song tumbled out of his mouth in visible waves of rouge, cyan, canary, and plum, bouncing off the terra-cotta walls. Petunia crossed her arms over the black metal railing and smiled. She completely ignored the large insect hurdling itself at her arm. The heat, the peace, and the jet black sky, lulled her dizzyingly into a sense of utter serenity. But she soon had just about enough of the insect.  
  
"Shoo!" she said loudly. "Get out of hear!" A loud screech brought her back to her senses. She looked over blearily. "Natina?" she said hoarsely. "What are you doing hear?" Natina, my owl, dropped a small rolled up letter on the mattress. "Oh, I see. You should know better then to wake people up in the middle of the night. I'm going to have to have a talk with your mommy. Where's Neo?" she said, suddenly noticing that he wasn't there. Natina pushed the letter closer to Petunia with her beak.  
  
Petunia looked suspiciously at her, then said, "Okay. I'll bite." She unrolled the small letter; it had only three words on it:  
  
Look Down  
XOXO  
  
Curious, Petunia looked over the bed. A trail of white rose peddles lay on the floor in the rough shape of an arrow. She smiled looking from Neo's side of the bed, to Natina, to the rose peddles on the floor.  
  
"Neo put you up to this?" Petunia asked. Natina hooted. Petunia sat there and thought for a moment. This could be a trick. He could be trying to get her out of bed only to dowse her with ice cold water. Why else would he send an owl? It wouldn't be the fist time. But then, she thought, what ever it was surly could be worth a laugh. "Okay," she said to Natina, who was looking at her impatiently. "I'm going."  
  
Slowly she got out of bed, and in the back of her mind she couldn't help noticing how cold it was. She opened the door by kicking it in case he had hung something on top of it. Nothing fell so she proceeded. It was dark and her breath rose before her in a white mist. The rain landed softly on her cheeks like a hundred wet fairies playing tag with her pores. There was a gravel path leading from the cabin to the canopy, normally, but now the gravel was lined with red and pink candles; the colors of passion and love. Some had been extinguished by the rain but they still emitted a romantic sort of faint glow. White rose peddles were strewn all across the floor and a single whole flower lay at her feet.  
  
Natina flew out from behind her in a great theatrical rush of wind that ruffled Petunia's hair. Petunia kneeled down and picked up the flower, sniffing it. It's delicate fragrance filled her nostrils and ensnared her brain. She slowly started forward, the candles flickering in her wake. Passing the sycamore trees she became enveloped in a light pink haze of cherry blossom peddles falling from the trees. The sensation was amazing, and she through out her arms, swirling in a heavenly lust. Her hair flew out behind her in a gold vale. She couldn't help feeling like an elf from the Lord of the Rings.  
  
She stopped swirling because it made her a little too dizzy. A few minutes on she reached the make shift curtain. A note was pinned to it. It read: Close your eyes… hold your breath… make a wish… count to ten… and step into a world of pure imagination.  
  
Her eyes shut tight she said allowed, "I wish always to dream of this time." Ten seconds latter she opened her eyes, but still couldn't breathe.  
  
There her gazebo stood, glimmering under a crown of strung white lights. The candles on the ground rose up two gold step latter holders with and intricate grape vine pattern. The rose peddles ran along the steps, slowly turning into down feathers. And there, standing in the middle of it all, was her love looking over the lake that set as a back drop. It rippled lightly as the rain drops fell to join it's depths.  
  
Neo himself looked unreal. He stood with his hands behind his back and his feet slightly separated. He wore all white; the ankles of his suit were just visible under the hem of a flowing trench coat. Diamond cufflinks greeted her in their sparkling manner. His sandy hair, which he had been letting grow, was neatly tied in one long, thin braid.  
  
He turned his head first, letting his body rhythmically fallow the motion. "Come far lady and speak of thy name. Certainly no mortal man could have spawned such a heavenly creation as thee?" He smiled slightly and held out his hand.  
  
Petunia was more then willing to play along. "Oh dear sir I can not. For earthly father I do have and he would surely have your head."  
  
"Do my ears deceive me?" Neo said stepping forward a little. "This can not be true! Mild mannered maiden, goddess above all feminine deity, keeper of thy heart, womb of thy child! I shall willingly die a valiant death for thee if destiny dictates it to be. Be from that solitary kiss your humble servant begs of you!" His other hand was now on his hart and he got down on one knee.  
  
"Humble thy servant most certainly is not. Knights have failed to woo thee. And short of royal crest do I see."  
  
"Knights know not of the heart but of duty. In the absence of kin and swords men I beg of thee, come!"  
  
"Very well." Petunia walked over to him and kneeled so they were face to face. "Presenter of thy flora, are you not?"  
  
"'Tis true maiden. Token of affection and desire. I dare confront thee with a query. Wilt thou reply?"  
  
"If thy query be admirable, without hesitation I will respond."  
  
"Allow me the honor of taking thy hand in marriage." He said taking a ring out of his pocket. It had a ruby set in rose gold and surrounded by several small diamonds. "Trust, far maiden, that flora is the lest of thy treasures."  
  
Petunia frantically shuffled about to retrieve her jaw from the floor as well as to search for her heart, which seemed to have vacated her body entirely. She found it quivering behind a candle, and after shoving it back into her chest she stammered. "I-I-Wh-Ha..." evidently her brain seemed to be missing as well.  
  
"Say yes," said Neo, looking a bit worried. "I don't think I could live without you."  
  
Her response was to audibly let out a long held breath and fling her arms around Neo's neck. She squeezed him so tightly that Neo couldn't breathe, but he didn't dare ask her to let go.  
  
"Yes!" Petunia was finally able to force out of her star struck body. "A million times, yes!"  
  
Neo picked her right off her feet and spun her in a burst of exuberant, joyful energy. Petunia lifted her face to the sky and laughed like she had never laughed before. She watched as the tumbling drops of water crashed into the top of the canopy; exploding in bursts of cosmic glow against the velvet sky. Slowly Neo lowered her back to the ground. They stood face to face, frozen in time, held by amour. The gods and goddess' of life, love, hope, and hereafter spun around them, drawing them ever closer until their lips delicately touched. There, in one kiss a million and one fairies lived, and loved, and died... all for them.  
Preparations for the wedding began immediately. Petunia knew that I already knew about the engagement, but even so, she braved a trip to the nearest owl post to mail me a letter (Natina had long senesce left). I walked around with a wide grin on my face for weeks after ward.  
  
Petunia would have nothing to do with a wedding curator, so, after living with James for two years, I went back home. My parents were simply ecstatic to hear that I was coming home. They threw a big party and completely ignored the fact that I was only there to help Petunia with the preparations.  
  
We stayed up late into the night, talking, laughing, and cooing over the daily love notes Neo sent to Petunia. We were supposed to be looking over cakes and dresses, but we kept getting lost in idle conversation.  
  
"Oh, I like that one," Petunia said pacifically, lightly running the back of her finger over a fabric sample attached to a picture of a Victorian stile dress.  
  
I smiled and came over from a pile of names for the guest list (which was remarkably smaller then mine had been).  
  
"Do you think they can make this dress," she said flipping a few pages back to a much more alluring dress, "with that fabric?"  
  
"I'm sure they can arrange it. I expect not very many brides want a cookie cutter dress."  
  
She giggled slightly, scratching the back of the cat's ear.  
  
"I can't believe this is happening." I said, shaking my head in a playful sort of way.  
  
"What? You reckoned I'd be single all my life?"  
  
"No of course not. It's just, what ever happened to Miss 'I'm not getting married to any one but a corporate executive that has enough bulk to bulldoze a buffalo. I won't look at a man that has more balls then brains. Only a man with intelligence can give me a normal life. A normal, stay at home mom, that's my perfect existence.'"  
  
Petunia laughed at the naive little thing she once was. "I gave up that vision when I got it through my thick head that dad wasn't going to walk me down the aisle. It doesn't matter any more."  
  
My smile faded a bit. "You don't mean that you're giving something up by marring Neo, do you?"  
  
"Of course not," she said, leaning over and grabbing my hand. She sat and thought for a moment, then said, "When we were little, our whole world revolved around the future, around perfect dreams, 'when I grow up,' and things like that. Perfection comes in so many different lights. When I would talk to you about that 'corporate executive' I always felt a bit... empty. Sure we'd have the two story suburban house with a tidy little front garden. Sure I'd never have to worry about him throwing me a surprise party after I'd come home from a long day at work. Sure I could have lived like Mrs. Beaver. But I would never, truly be alive. It doesn't matter any more because I've found my prophesy, my angel, the one I never thought I could have, and it's beautiful. All my life I've looked at you and thought 'why not me?' And it hurt, Lily, it hurt so badly. And I hated you for it. Why couldn't I have gone to Hogwarts? The way you describe it... Why couldn't I have all the friends? Why?! For thirteen years I lived my life regretting that I had been born! And then Neo came along and taught me what it meant to see a better day." She reached over and touched my face. "Lily, he taught me what it meant to forgive. He taught me to live. All of that with one kiss. If he can do all that with a kiss, there's no telling what he could do with his life."  
  
There was a very long, dense pose, broken only by the seemingly distant purr of the everlasting black cat. "I don't know what to say."  
  
"Say I won't be breaking the rules by wearing a maroon trench coat over my dress," she said, holding up a blood red piece of fabric. I stared at her, determined to keep a strait face... but the imps rolling around in the pit of my stomach jostled and tickled every nerve, and I burst out laughing. Petunia laughed too, starting first with a small giggle and slowly growing into a full blown belly laugh. It was brilliant. 


	5. Innocence Cries Blood

Chapter Five  
Innocence Cries Blood  
  
The first snow storm of the season carried fire on its gallant white wings. It soared over the glittering tree tops and aimed its fears beak squarely on Petunia. It injected its marvelous venom, and sent her swirling into great waves of love-sickness. She longed to rush into Neo's arms, and let the whole world pass her by. She was tired of, again, being treated like a parasite, and ached to hear her name called as if she were Aphrodite.  
  
Neo was more then willing to ride to her on his black Stalin and polished armor. The Stalin to carry his will across the country. The armor to protect him against the dragon's of despair, also known as Mr. and Mrs. Sanderus. Mommy and Daddy were more then a little rude to him. They eyed his motorcycle like it was the Black Plague. They pulled back when Neo went to shake their hand. And they continually watched him like a hawk, as if he were going to steal their most precious possession, and that possession most certainly was not Petunia.  
  
Petunia wasted no time in rushing him out of the house. She had been in the bath when Neo came, and it was quite amusing to watch her steam up and down the room with nothing on but a towel. She impaled herself on the dresser next to the door, pinched her finger as she closed the zipper on her duffel bag, and halfway through getting dressed, (while fighting with the clasp on her bra) she noticed a twelve year old boy spying on her through his window. I knew he was watching, but I just couldn't reset the opportunity to see Petunia's face go that red! I laughed until my sides hurt, and Petunia gave me a very nasty look.  
  
Petunia's hair was still wet when she ran out of the house and onto the back of Neo's bike. As soon as she put her helmet on Neo took off at top speed. They barreled down the street like a comet and faded out of sight.  
  
  
The cold steadily became thicker as they headed further north. Neo's ear's and nose were a bright, almost florescent pink by the time they reached the forest surrounding the retreat. Snow capped hills sat, majestic and wise in the distance. Tree's that glittered like broken glass obscured it's serene face. A silence so profound you could eat it with a spoon, filled this virgin land. It capped the estate like a warm, heavy comforter, broken only by the purr of Neo's motorcycle.  
  
Petunia held on tight with her hands underneath Neo's coat. She ran her thumb up and down Neo's warm, defined muscles; silently worshipping the body she would recognize by any other name. They twisted and turned their way up the pale dirt road so hard that Petunia feared she would fall off. She had the nagging felling that Neo was doing it just to make her hold on to him tighter.  
  
The sky mirrored the Earth perfectly. It was ashen and vast like a frozen lake. Petunia was certain that if she reached up she could touch its icy skin. The smell of wet dirt and pine carried her off into distant lands of evil green witches and emerald cities.  
  
Neo, who had more facades then Madonna, took off his helmet and let his now short hair wave in the wind like the tongues of a hundred snakes. He also had a very thick beard now, which came very much in handy given the cold climate. He was her king, this land her castle, and the motorcycle that had massaged her butt numb, was her steed. And more then anything else in the world, she prayed that this ride would never end. She deserved for it to never end.  
  
But wishes aren't finite, unlike some things... like love for instance. Far too quickly for Petunia's tastes they arrived at the retreat. It was a beautiful three story house. A blue milk painted covered swing sat on the patio. A quaint white picket fence served as a support for the many rose bushes that intertwined themselves around the perimeter of the yard. Dirt trails lead off in every direction, serving as guides to more secluded (and much more expensive) cabins. A fountain stood to the right of the highly architectural garden. And a wind chime playing softly in the breeze rounded out the picture.  
  
Neo stowed the motorcycle in a large muraled shed, and they walked up to the front door. It was very warm inside, and they stood there only a few seconds before a smiling lady came up to them.  
  
"Good Afternoon," she told them, "and welcome to The Ménage of Amour. If you don't like the name my husband came up with it, if you do like it, it was me."  
  
"Thank you," Petunia and Neo said together.  
  
"And I love the name," Neo added.  
  
"Good. Breakfast is at 7:00, lunch is at 1:00, dinner is at 8:00, and you may use the kitchen and dinning rooms at any time you wish. May I show you around?"  
  
Thankfully Neo said, "No that you. It's been a long trip and I think we would like to rest before dinner."  
  
"Very well. I'll show you to your room." They went up a flight of stairs and the women opened the first door on the right.  
  
A cozy fire crackled merrily in the hearth to the left. Candles of varying length and width stood on the banister, along with several black and white photos in gold and tarnished silver frames. A large four poster draped in white and tan velvet lay at an angle in the corner. A tea table posed in front of a stained glass window, which was covered in a thin layer of frost. Nick-nakes of every manner filled the rest of the room giving it a nice lived-in feel.  
  
"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask," she slowly backed out of the room but then stopped just as she was about to close the door. "Oh, before I forget. It is my husband's 40th birthday and we're having a celebration down in the basement. Every one is welcome to join. It's sure to be a blast."  
  
Neo looked at Petunia and raised his eyebrows. Petunia shrugged her shoulders in a silent might be fun.  
  
"All right then. What time?"  
  
"Wednesday, 7:00pm until someone drops from alcohol poisoning," she said with a wicked smile on her face.  
  
"Oh, I don't know," Neo said constrainedly. "It's not that we wouldn't be pleased to join. It's just that we're scheduled to leave on Thursday."  
  
Petunia looked at him with an expression remarkably like the one mother wears when scolding us. "Honestly, Neo, are we here on vacation or not?"  
  
"Well, we are but I don't think it's very s-"  
  
"I don't believe I'm hearing this. Napoleon McArgea the third. King of all parties, bacchanals, and pubs backing down from an innocuous birthday?" she smiled slightly and said the words she knew would crawl under his skin, "Are you getting old?"  
  
Neo blushed and swelled up like a bullfrog. He swiftly turned to the owner and said, "We'll be there."  
  
She bowed and closed the door.  
  
Neo turned back to Petunia and walked slowly toward her, forcing her against the wall. "How dare you," he said playfully with his finger in her face.  
  
"Awe, did I hurt the poor baby's feelings? Did his pretty little world shatter before him? Let's see if we can't pick up the pieces."  
  
They didn't make it to dinner that night, and sufficed to say the bed got a considerable amount of use through those four days.  
  
  
Wednesday dawned quiet on the naked couple. They lay fast asleep under extra thick blankets. Their bodies intertwined and dry seat coated skin too thin to hold their spirits in any longer. They had long since become see through in alchemy, one core, one mind, each unable to breathe with out the other.  
  
The golden rays of the new day draped over Neo first, gently shaking him awake. He turned to his love and breathed deeply. 'Could this possibly be true?' he asked himself, 'She looks so much more beautiful then before. She's not a women, she's an angel."  
  
Sensing Neo's intense, hungry gaze, Petunia woke up and smiled. "Hello there," she said. She noticed his stony eyes and said, "What?"  
  
Neo shook his head slowly and said, "I just can't believe you're actually mine." He thought that sounded a lot better then saying she was glowing with some formerly unrealized praise for him.   
  
"Promise me something," Petunia said.  
  
"I've already promised you my life, there's not much more I can give you."  
  
"Promise you'll never leave me."  
  
"'Till death do us part," he whispered.  
  
"And what of after death? What then? Will you find someone else?"  
  
"I shall come back as a butterfly, and swing on the stars above your head as you sleep. And you had better do the same," he added threateningly.  
  
"Well I don't know about swinging on stars," Neo shot her a very betrayed look. Petunia giggled and said, "But I will willingly do every thing else." She buried her face in the pillow and said, "Today's our last day isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah," Neo said, sitting up. "And we have that party to go to. I have reputation at stake after all."  
  
The day was very slow, and well cherished. Neither of them were willing to let go of the surreal dream that encompassed them. They casually walked through the many gardens and philosophized as they rocked back and forth in the swing, watching the sun dip behind the trees. It dyed the sky bright orange and panted Petunia's skin so that she luminesced like a fire fly. She had fallen asleep on Neo's lap by 6:30 and had to be roused with a kiss before she would do much more then squirm like a baby.  
  
As promised, the entire town seemed to be crammed in the home owner's basement. Head's bobbed up and down as the guests danced to the blaring music. Laser lights flashed and smog filled the room. Waitresses in skimpy costumes carried drinks on black trays. And for the life of them they couldn't find the owners in this chaos. This was a forty year old man's idea of a birthday party?  
  
Off to one corner was what one could only consider to be a small makeshift diner. Neo gently poked Petunia in the side and yelled at the top of his lungs, "Why don't we go and sit down."  
  
"What?" Petunia screamed back, unable to hear a single word of what he'd just said.  
  
"I said maybe we should sit down!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Neo opened his mouth to repeat his sentence yet again, but changed his mind and simply pointed.  
  
Petunia caught sight of the tables on the raised platform, "Oh," she said, "Okay!"  
  
The music was a lot quieter hear because of the distance from the speakers and they could actually hear each other. They had no sooner reached an empty table then a saucy looking lady approached them with a tray full of assorted drinks. "What will it be?"  
  
"Just some tea."  
  
"Only what ya see, Hun."  
  
Neo eyed the tray with apprehension. Everything on the tray was alcoholic and he didn't feel much like driving a motorcycle with a hang over. "Nothing, then."  
  
"Nothing?!" Petunia shook her head at him in a patronizing manner. "What kind of a man am I marrying? Is my idi-bidi baby afraid of a little buzz?"  
  
"I fear nothing," he said definitively.  
  
"Prove it."  
  
Neo looked at her, sizing up his competition. He could easily drink more then she could. He turned to the lady and pulled two Long Island Ice Tea's off the tray. "Prepare to meet your doom," he said pushing the glass towards her.  
  
The hours slowly passed and as the clock ticked away so did the silver essence of mind, body, and spirit. The universe converged the way it dose when a star goes super nova. Time dissolved in great waves of tipple. The basement slowly emptied around them as they drank themselves stupid in a silly contest of wits. Demons wait outside the door for those who don't have enough sense to walk around them.  
  
They were so far gone by the time morning came that all they could do was sit and laugh at each other with empty glasses perched on their heads like hats.  
  
"Great party isn't it?" came a distant, happy-go-lucky sort of voice. "Hey, weren't you two suppose to be gone by now?"  
  
"Gone?" Neo asked, unable to wrap the gray goop that was formally his brain around her question.  
  
"Yeah. As in out of hear. Going home. On the road," she said, looking faintly confused.  
  
A lightning bolt flashed and illuminated the fogy din inside his head. "Oh shit!" he said, jumping up at once. He grabbed Petunia by the arm and raced toward the exit as fast as his wobbly legs could carry him. They ran upstairs, crashed through their door, gathered their things, (a little half hazardously) and within ten minutes they were out the door.  
  
As luck would have it Neo's trusty motorcycle had chosen now to misbehave. He desperately turned the handle again and again, and when the motor finally turned it woke Petunia up like a blast from a cannon. They were off, recklessly streaking up the crisp dirt road.  
  
The ride was uneventful for a long time. They were a quarter of a mile from home before exhaustion and the creeping hangover took their toll. Neo began to, unknowingly, swerve in and out of the opposing lane. The street was deserted for the most part, so it didn't make much of a difference. A police car was parked at the intersection, its occupant asleep on duty. Neo's vision blurred as he fought to stay awake. Again he veered into the opposite lane. The shadows around him collated and combined for the last time, he was asleep.  
  
An unsuspecting semi came over a small hill, the grate over its engine cracked. The man, instead of paying attention to the road, was playing with the radio. He looked up just in time to see Neo and Petunia asleep on the motorcycle. He abruptly turned the wheal, but it was too late. The semi rammed the tiny motorcycle, sending the bike flying into the air, and both it's passengers in different directions. Petunia was impaled by the cracked grate. And Neo... Neo lay some twenty feet from the scene, his head severed from his body. Flesh, bones, and veins protruded from his neck like worms. His eyes were closed, the face in an expression of blissful ignorance. 


	6. Erroneous Resolutions

Chapter Six  
Erroneous Resolutions  
  
It is said among the wizarding community, that certain siblings, siblings that share terrible fates, are connected. Much the same way some believe that Muggle twins are connected. It is widely considered to be a myth - I know better. I was in the shower when the semi hit Neo's motorcycle. The bike was so tiny that it hardly made a sound as it was trampled. But I knew. I knew in the most terrible way one could possibly know. I saw it happen. I felt it happen. Like a vision but more intense; like a dream but clearer; like instinct with no room for second guessing.  
  
I stood in the shower, letting the hot water trickle down my body. My eyes closed and my brain dulled. The world outside my head dimmed and faded away. I floated in the womb of Fate's own making, hearing nothing but my own heart beat, not truly understanding what was happening. It was like watching an old fashioned television screen turn on. The black and white picture slowly came into focus before me. It was dim at first but I recognized the scenery. My first jolt of panic came when I saw that it was Neo and Petunia on the bike. It sailed forward despite my desperate attempts to call it back. The semi came into view, dark and glowing red like Satan. Its mighty jaws opened and swallowed them whole. Flesh tared and mettle twisted.  
  
The water turned to ice and forced me to come crashing down to earth. I gasped, throwing myself against the other side of the shower, and I opened my eyes. Blood... blood covered the shower head, pelting me with fresh death. I fell right through the curtains and out of the bath. I laid there, dripping the Grim Repair's blood, terrified to look through the shower curtains. I had to know though. I had to know if the demon rattling around in the back of my head was real.  
  
I stood up very slowly, shivering right down to the bone marrow. My heart hammered against my chest, screaming, "No please! Don't look! Don't look!" If my hand had been vibrating any faster it would have been see through. I touched the edge of the curtain, clutching it as hard as I could to steady my hand. And then, just before stupidity ran out on me, I through back the curtain.  
  
A mad, ear piercing scream met my ears. Where was it coming from? Who was screaming? My God! It was coming from me! I stood there, screaming, looking down at Neo's blood drenched decapitated body. My legs gave way beneath me. All I could feel was a burning pain in the soft flesh between my hips. I looked down to find a two inch gash hemorrhaging bright red blood to the rhythm of my heart. In a whirl of crimson and black I felt myself loosing the grip on life. I probably would have died if it were not for my parents.  
  
They had heard my screaming and were now pounding on the bathroom door. In a burning flash every thing came back. I sat there, stunned for a moment. The blood was gone, the pain had passed, and Neo's body was missing. A voice in my ear, so soft I could barley hear it, said confidently, "Go." I jumped to my feet, through a dress over my head, and after trampling my frightened looking parents, ran barefoot from the house.  
  
People were already gathering around the scene. I jumped like a gazelle over low bushes and stray toys. The curious onlookers parted as I reached them and collapsed at Petunia's mangled side.  
  
  
I spent just enough time at home to put on some sandals and send Natina to James. I jumped into the car and beat the ambulance to the hospital. Neo's body presided Petunia by at lest five minutes, then they wheeled her into the cold, unforgiving hall. Blood covered her body and tubes stuck out every where. Her eyes were open and she seemed to be desperately trying to take in all that was going on.   
  
I rushed up to her and her soul seemed to grab onto me, crying out for something to cling to. I looked up and down her broken body. Her cloths had been torn away, cuts and bruises obscured her skin, and a deep gash had torn her breast in half. And the thing that made my stomach turn with shock and trepidation: a large piece of shrapnel stuck side ways out of her lower abdomen. One of her eyes had been taped shut and was still bleeding.  
  
"Lily!" Petunia said.  
  
"Hey Hun," I said delicately. "Look don't you worry; everything is going to be fine. Really."  
  
"He left me," she said in shock. "He said he'd never leave me."   
  
"Oh no, Hun. Neo... N-Neo's fine. H-He's already in a room. He's fine."   
  
The ghostly hands in the back of her brain reached up and penetrated my skin, searching for the truth. "You always were a terrible liar," she said.  
  
I stopped dead as they wheeled her in through the large double doors. She left the range of my vision and I stood there, my ears ringing, the whole world rushing passed me. I know this is going to sound really sick, but, it was like being killed. Believe me, I know.  
  
I was lost in darkness, numb, unable to breath, unable to think. And then James came, and uncertainly touched me on the shoulders. It all rushed back to me like water braking through flood gates. My mind raced at a hundred miles an hour, then finally snapped. All the electricity in the pit of my stomach exploded in one burst, forcing me to roar like a lion and punch the nearest wall as hard as I could. I slid to the floor, James sinking right along side me. Acid tears like Knights of Evil sliced through my eyes. My whole body shook and between huge gasps and James' incessant, "It's okay. Every thing's going to be okay," I managed to say, "It's all she ever wanted. She never asked for anything else. It was all she ever needed. And it's gone! It's gone, James, and it isn't far. She deserved him."  
  
"Deserved who?"  
  
"Neo."  
  
  
Decades passed in fourteen measly hours. Sirius joined us after a while and waited as nervous as myself. He always was a sweet heart. I paced, I cried, and I prayed, but still it seemed all futile. She could be dyeing in that operating room for all the doctors would tell us. Mum and Dad weren't there of course; they never did bother to even feign consideration. James, Sirius, and I took turns in pestering every doctor, nurse, or intern that walked by. Even if all they were doing was emptying the trash.   
  
Finally, when I felt that I would burst if I didn't get a strait answer, James came across a nurse that was willing to be strait forward.  
  
"She's lost a lot of blood," she said in a low voice. "And to be honest none of us expected her to survive. It's a miracle that she did. We were able to save her eye, she has a fractured leg, but other then that most of the other injuries are superficial," she paused and looked around at us. The expression on her face said quite clearly that what ever was coming next wasn't good. "I'm very sorry to say that... we weren't able to save the baby. And I'm afraid that because of the shrapnel there's a very, very small chance that she will ever be able to bare children."  
  
"Baby?" I said, as I fought to keep myself from caving in.  
  
"You- you mean you didn't know?"  
  
I took a deep, forced breath as the realization set in. "No."  
  
I could tell that come Hell or high water the nurse didn't want to ask what came tumbling out of her mouth, "Is it possible that she didn't know?"  
  
I tried to speak but couldn't, all that would come out of my mouth was silent black grief. James knew Petunia very well because of me and so felt it best if he answered, "Petunia didn't know. Lily would have been the first one she told."  
  
The nurse shook her head. "Should I tell her...?"  
  
"No!" I said forcibly. "No I'll tell her."  
  
"Come on," she said, taking me by the elbow and helping me to my shaking feet. She led all three of down the hall and into the last room. I stood at the threshold, looking in on Petunia's dull, staring face; she didn't look like she was all there. It was like I was the one laying there with bandages and wires all over the place.   
  
Crossing cold bodies and barbed wire I made it to her side. She was awake but didn't look at me. When I reached for her hand she backed it away from me. Her eye was blood shot, swollen, and dead. The best of her had been killed out on that street, and it would never come back. My Petunia was gone and this frail shell was all that was left.  
  
I turned around and asked Sirius and James to wait outside. I had a felling that Petunia wouldn't talk to me in front of them. Thousands of thoughts, worries, and condolences crisscrossed around my mind like phaser fire and I didn't know were to start.  
  
"How do you feel?" I asked, as it was the simplest question up there.  
  
She didn't answer, just shrugged her shoulders and determinedly avoided my eyes. Electricity told the story far better then words ever could. A sorrow so profound you could slice it with a knife and spread it on toast filled the surrounding air. I leaned over and laid my head on her chest, listening to her heart beat. "Tell me it's a dream," she said suddenly. She closed her eye and said, "Tell me that when I open my eyes I'll be in my bed and none of this would have happened."  
  
"I can't," I whispered. "No matter how much I want to- I'm sorry."  
  
"Some times I feel like I was made to be broken. Why couldn't I have died too? He was everything. We were happy together…" Her voice trailed off into a low, bee-like hum. My stomach squirmed and ached in guilt, regret, and apprehension. Why had I volunteered to tell her?  
  
In a slight wave of nausea I opened my mouth, "That's not all. I have to tell you something."  
  
"What is it," she said, sounding a bit more concerned, if that was possible.  
  
"In the waiting room, a nurse came up to us. Me and Sirius and James," I added, just to stall the inevitable. "She told us the details of what happened to you. And she also… she also said that," I couldn't say it. I couldn't shatter what was left of her dreams.  
  
She lifted my head off her chest and said, "What ever it is you can tell me. Nothing can bring me closer to Hell then I already am."  
  
Some how, I seriously doubted that. But the resolve in her voice gave me strength none the less. "She said you were pregnant. And that the baby had been killed in the accident. And- and-" my mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. I held her life in my hands. If I didn't tell her, if I could just let her fantasies for a little longer. Having children was the only idea that kept her going before Neo.  
  
"And?" she reluctantly encouraged me. Her eye shined with an emerging liquid diamond.   
  
"She said," I replied slowly, "that the damage the shrapnel caused to your uterine wall would prevent you from ever carrying a child to term."  
  
Smash. If you had recorded that moment and played it back in slow motion you could have physically seen the moment her heart broke. She laid there, her hand independently waving up and down from her mouth, trying to force back the waves of new born pain. But they came any way, causing her bandaged eye to bleed again. It released the blood of her fallen love… and never-to-be-born child.  
  
  
Petunia wasted away in the days fallowing her release from the hospital. She went back to her apartment instead of coming back home. Shadows wrapped around her and none of the blinds or curtains in the place were allowed to be opened. Hours passed, days, weeks, and still she laid in bed staring at the ceiling. She didn't eat, didn't sleep, and barely breathed. Her beautifully proportioned body melted beneath her. Her neck, long as it was when obscured by a modicum of body fat, now seemed to suit a giraffe better then a human. She cried until there were no more tears left. Her mind churned and tried to rationalize her woe-is-me attitude.   
  
Again she was the little girl, bleeding on the school lawns. Like a diver running out of air she flailed about for something that would help her to the surface. A log, a prayer, a notion, a hand, anything would do. And then, late on Saturday morning, the day before Neo's funeral, she woke up with her life jacket firmly in her grasp… it was my fault.  
  
It hardly made any sense but I was the thing floating by as her lungs threatened to burst. The idea flowed and spiraled and grew a body of its own. Glorious in its rock hard, blood thirsty body and glowing red eyes it consumed Petunia. Logic and rational thought stood quivering in its wake. By the time the sun burned its way beneath the lonely roof tops there was no turning back. I had become the demon spawn of Satin himself. 


	7. The Funeral

Chapter Seven  
The Funeral  
  
It took her all her strength to force herself out of bed in time for the funeral. Neo's father was giving the eulogy so there was no point in hurrying up. She reached the chapel, the same one that was supposed to be their wedding church, and her whole body tensed up.  
  
It stood imposing against the gray sky, and growled at her in the form of distant thunder. She stepped out of the car, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She stood there, trying to fight off the insane urge to run. She wandered about her own mind, screaming as she went, 'Neo? Where are you? I think I'm lost! Help me, please! I wish you-` But then she snapped open her eyes. Neo use to ask her to close her eyes and make a wish.  
  
"Get a hold of yourself," she demanded. She unstuck her feet and marched toward the smell of wet earth and decaying flesh. The world around her condensed as she came closer. Soon, the only thing she could hear was her own frantic heart and shallow breath. Stopping in front of the large double doors she waited for lightning to hit. One last fleeting hope that she wouldn't have to go in. But no such thing happened, and with zombie-like obedience, she opened the doors and walked in.  
  
Neo's father was already talking, his deep voice echoing off the tall ceiling and happy little benches. All sarcasm intended. Wreaths of flowers adorned Neo's whit coffin. If she didn't know any better she would have sworn it was made entirely of ivory. Gold plates indicated the handles, which were now welded shut so no one could see his body.  
  
She spotted me near the front of the chapel and her blood boiled. She looked at the back of my head with red hot lasers, hopping to drill right through and splatter my brains on the over glossed wall. Just then a vase no more then six inches from my left ear exploded. Several people gasped and let out small screams. Petunia launched herself to the side and sat at the very back, far from everyone's prying eyes.  
  
"Well," said Neo's father after a moment of strained silence, "if I'm not very much mistaken I believe that's my son telling me to shut up and get on with it." There was a smattering of nervous laughter. Whether that was a joke or not didn't matter, they took him seriously and started looking nervously about. But I knew better. I looked around too, but not for ghosts, witches and wizards can see ghosts. The only one that could do that was an untrained juvenile wizard. There were tons of children, Neo adored kids, but there are no external signals to identify young wizards. "So I think we should say good bye and get this over with."  
  
People started standing up and walking toward the coffin. They kneeled and kissed it, talked to it, caressed it and cried on it. Several of the children left notes on pretty paper. Petunia fallowed his mother and sister with her stinging eyes. They had always been so nice to her and it was torture to see them like this. She starred at the coffin with dubious light. Sitting there, glued to her chair, she cursed him under her breath. She cursed him with a long afterlife, walking the heavens with the knowledge that he had abandoned her. She told herself she was going to go up there with each second that went by. But the mourners came and went and still she sat, ruing every blissful memory he had ever given her.  
  
The priest took the stand and asked Neo's mother if she'd like to see the coffin lowered. She said yes so half of them got up and left the church, heading for the grave yard. For some reason, this didn't perturb her, and she left with out hesitation.  
  
  
Rain had started to fall, but not the beautiful rain she was use to. This rain was cold, comatose, and tasted like the tears of gods. She walked without purpose or conscious thought; she walked because they were walking. She watched as long dead mothers pulled recently buried children from their wet graves. She watched as raped and beaten young women hid behind their tomb stones. She saw echoes of crushed husbands weeping at a plague's latest victim. It chilled her to the bone marrow.  
  
She made sure to stop well behind the queue, just close enough for her to hear. She was surprised to see that mother was there, her arm wrapped around me. 'Fine then,' she said to herself, 'comfort you preaches baby girl. I don't care about you anymore. I don't care what you think. I don't care!' The words echoed off the hallow chambers of her brain. The truth was that she did still care, and seeing me with her was like having a dull blade slice through her insides.   
  
She backed up along a near by tree and slid to the ground, her eyes closed once more. The priest was talking again, giving a blessing before Neo became a part of his final resting place. His words vitiated her, tying her soiled hands behind her back and shoving dirty rags into her dry mouth. Blind, mute, and quadriplegic she sat, unwanted tears falling from her face.  
  
Just then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Thinking it was me she shoved it away before opening her eyes, but then… "Mum?" The tears were shoved off her face by the shear shock value. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Trying to share my condolences," she said.  
  
"Your condolences? You?"  
  
"Yes. You are my daughter. What kind of a mother would I be if I didn't show I care?"  
  
There was something funny going on hear. Mum? Our mum, caring about her? One question ran naked through her mind, 'What are you on?' But she had enough sense to never say that to her. Mother sold drugs in her youth and she was very sensitive about the subject. Instead she asked, "Since when did you grow a conscience?"  
  
She was a bit taken aback, she hadn't expected this, but it took only seconds for her to regain herself. "Look, I'm sorry about all that's happened between us. I know I haven't been exactly fare, but I could tell with blind eyes that you're in pain. I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I didn't try to help you in your hour of need."  
  
"And what sort of forlorn wisdom do you have for your precious?"  
  
She looked at her with truly sympathetic eyes. She saw in her something she had tried to forget long ago. "There are times in our life when we all must face the monsters in the closet," she looked sideways to where I was. "I've seen the way you look at her," she whispered, "It's no good to keep hate bottled up, nor is it good to keep grief hidden. Go to him, Petunia. Go to him and tell him what you feel."  
  
"I don't want to remember him like that."  
  
"You don't have to," she said engagingly. "You don't have to say good bye here, just vent."  
  
"Where then?"  
  
"You have a special place the two of you visit do you not?"  
  
"Yes. Our gazebo… In his grandfather's orchored."  
  
"I couldn't imagine a better place to bit him farewell. Will you go there? Will you go there for me?"  
  
There was a demonic tone to her calming voice but Petunia paid no attention to it. She was tired of the tears and begging for a chance to escape. "I will. I promise."  
  
She smiled and kissed Petunia on the forehead. "That a girl," she said, got up, and left.  
  
She now had a clear view of the coffin. It was no longer a source of pain to her but the object of a most sacred mission. She rose from the ground with determination, with the kind of fierce power a cougar possesses. She walked with tunnel vision; the only thing in the world that mattered was her and her loves hidden body. Before she knew it she was in front of the coffin, staring it down with wasted eyes.  
  
"What now?" she said, startled by the quivering nature of her own voice. "You were my life, Neo. You do realize that? So what happens next? Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want to see? Well you can't! I've bled too much for you already. Do you want me to kneel in front of you and tell the rest of this God forsaken world that it's not fare?! Fine then!" she fell on her knees in an exasperated motion. Then she started screaming at every one left, "It isn't fare I tell you! I deserved that life! It was mine and you had no right to take him from me! Do you hear me?! The lot of you can go to Hell for what you've done to me!"  
  
I had been climbing into a car before Petunia had gone ballistic. Immediately I got out and ran to my sister's aid, but she was less then appreciative. I ran up to her side only to find her bent on my destruction. She through out her arms and pushed me as hard as she could. I fell to the ground with a great clatter. I looked up into her menacing face in utter shock. Her hands were balled into fists itching to strike.  
  
"What the Hell are you running after, dear sister? Come to rub your perfect life in my face again?"  
  
"Petunia, please just calm down-"  
  
"Calm down! Calm down! Don't tell me to calm down! Give me an excuse to hit you sweet heart, and I swear to God I'll do it with a great deal of pleasure."  
  
I didn't know what to say. Where was all this coming from? "Why would you want to hit me? I'm only trying to help," I said, getting to my feet.  
  
"Help? The way you helped when those kids that laughed in my face when we were in school together?"  
  
"School, Petunia, that was years ago."  
  
"Alright how about something a little more resent. I went down to your bloody paradise of a world on your request to pick up a few potion supplies. Remember? Well there I met a certain witch. She thought it would be funny to play a little joke on the unsuspecting Muggle. She jinxed me. She jinxed me. I had six ears sprouting out of my head! If I had known half of what you knew I could have restored my facial features. But no, I had to walk around London, in the middle of a heat wave, with my hood over my head. If you hadn't been so- so- so-"  
  
"So what?! What are you playing at hear? It's not my fault I was born with these gifts and you weren't!"  
  
Petunia walked right up close to me and whispered in my ear, "Magic doesn't skip siblings. And if you hadn't been so full of yourself then you would have noticed it."  
  
My very skin froze as her words chiseled their way into my disbelieving head like a jack hammer against marble. "You broke the vase in the church?"  
  
"Yes," she whispered in a satisfied tone. "It's been a very long time since I lost control like that. It's amazing what one con teach oneself given the proper motivation."  
  
"Proper motivation?"  
  
"Do you remember when Father told you that I had gone to camp for the summer to work on my spelling?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"There was never such a camp. You and Mother were always so close. I'd hear giggling coming from the bathroom all the way down into the living room. Remember how you would always watch Mum put her makeup on? I was always curious to find out what was so amusing, but I never did want to intrude. But my chance came the morning after your sleep over at your friend's house, and I didn't hesitate to take it. You were gone and now I could sit at Mum's feet, not you. But she was less then hospitable. She said some very mean things to me, Lily, things you should never say to a child. I got very, very angry at her. It was so easy to drive a piece of that perfume bottle into her neck. Just a small piece, nothing big enough to sever any arteries, but it did shut her up. Daddy was very upset. After asking Mummy what had happened he grabbed me with marvelous wrath and through me in their bathroom closet. It was so tiny I couldn't even stand up or move in any direction more then a half inch, and so very dark. You know how I hated the dark? All I could see was blood, it socked my hands and feet and before long I would swear that it was running down the walls. I had to clean up the blood but there was no water. They didn't feed me, and the silence was so profound that I didn't know whether I was alive or dead after a while. They only let me out when you started asking questions. I was so dirty when they let me out. I still can't get the blood off, Lily, no matter how much I try. You can't imagine how many hours I spent laying awake at night after that. I had to learn to control it; I couldn't let any thing happen again. And then the letters from Hogwarts arrived. Mum, of course, knew what was in it since she had gotten yours four years earlier. She tore mine to peaces and stuffed it in the fire so there would be no evidence. She didn't intend for me to find out. But ever since the closet incident I don't really trust things unless I see it with my own eyes. They were so proud of you. Why couldn't they have been proud of me? I was just like you and they were afraid of me. They say self hatred died out with black-American slaves. They were wrong."  
  
My whole world was spinning. Petunia… a witch, how could it be? How could I have missed it for so long? How could something so horrible happen right under my nose? I walked up to her with the intention of hugging her but she backed away from me like I had the Black Plague. "Don't touch me! Don't come any closer to me you freak."  
  
"How can you say such things? How can you condemn me for something that I can't control? God damn it, Petunia you're just like me-"  
  
Without the slightest warning she balled up her hand and struck me as hard as she could with the back of her fist. "Don't you ever say that to me again. You don't know, Lily. You don't know what it feels like. Every-single-fucking-time that I trusted you I got smacked in the face. But I still kept coming back because I loved you so much. No one made me feel the way you did. Not until Neo. And after a while I didn't think of him as another person. He was a part of me, the very part that had always been missing. And now half my soul is dead; the piece of me that could trust you, and love you, and hope that this time it will be different, is gone. And I will never again feel safe, or hole, or anything. And I hate you for that. I hate you, bitch! I hate you!   
  
Petunia and I stood like just another stone statue in the grave yard, with nothing more to say and even less to think. Purgatory, knows now bounds. Just then I felt a large cold hand on my shoulder, and as I was lost in my own retched thoughts, I jumped and gasped.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." I tried to find my voice but couldn't, the door way into my brain had been jammed. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" he asked uncertainly after a moment.  
  
Petunia looked from the man with the long white beard and hair to me and back, apparently relishing my loss for words. "Not at all, Mr.?"  
  
"Dumbledore," he said, holding out his hand and smiling slightly, "Albus Dumbledore."  
  
"Albus? I've heard so much about the infamous Hogwarts headmaster."  
  
"Infamous, really?" his eyes twinkled and he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. He looked sideways at me through his half moon spectacles and said, "I'm flattered. And you would be Petunia, Lily's sister?"  
  
"Yes I would be."  
  
"Well if you'll excuse us I have to steal your sister for a moment."  
  
She nodded and Dumbledore steered me out behind a near by wall. "What are you up to?" she whispered to herself. She made like she was going to leave in the opposite direction but then doubled back in a large semicircle.  
  
She inched her way closer to us with her back pressed against the wall. When she finally reached the other end she poked her head around ever so slightly. There she found Dumbledore and I talking in a low whisper, half way across the other wall.  
  
"You can't pretend that you don't see the connection," I was saying.  
  
"The giants are not our problem. Their people are dyeing, they need our help to survive. They won't attack us."  
  
"The Death Eaters are growing stronger, you said it your self. They're recruiting more and more people every day, their natural allies are the giants and the Dementors. They've already got most of the Dementors it's only a matter of time before-"  
  
"The giants won't do anything while they have our protection."  
  
"Our protection isn't going to mean much in a year or two. Voldemort would have destroyed us by then. That's why you came to me isn't it? We're loosing the battle aren't we? That's why you want to set up an alliance with the giants? Its suicide, Albus, full blooded giants can't be trusted!"  
  
"The giants can hide you and James. Voldemort has been strategically killing off the best of our kind, you're next. They're the only one's that can save us but they won't except any ones plead but James'. I've got his approval if you come along. Lily, the giants can save us."  
  
"Nothing can save us. We're all as good as dead and nothing but a miracle can stop that." there was a pause and then I uttered the question that had been nagging me ever since Albus had proposed an alliance with the giants, "Why James. Why do they want James?" There was a long pause in which I watched the wheals behind his blue eyes turn. "I'm not a little girl anymore," I said. "It's not your job to protect me from the things that go bump in the night. Why do they want my husband?"   
  
"I don't know," He said, that was the most painful lie Albus had ever uttered.  
  
Petunia leaned back against the wall. Now she knew there were forces acting against us. But she didn't care; she had her own business to attend to. 


	8. Phantom on Butterfly Wings

Chapter Eight  
Phantom on Butterfly Wings  
  
Neo's father was very sympathetic and she was allowed to stay in his cabin. Her journey there was less then eventful. She drove as numbly as she could. She kept the music high and her thoughts low, afraid that she'd turn right around if the reality of where she was going ever set in. She stopped only once to get some food, gas, and a single red rose. The scenery slowly changed with out her even realizing it. After what seemed like an eternity she reached the arch marking the start of the McArgea family property. The sun panted a golden hallow over the dense trees to her left, and even though it was the first warm day of the season, she shivered.  
  
More then once she had stood at this very place in her retched dreams. In the din of the night she listened to his place scream. It didn't want her here, not tonight. But Petunia didn't listen; she listened to no one but herself any more.  
  
The cabin itself reminisced of days long passed. Its cheerful fire, its cozy bed, its over stuffed furniture, and the many pictures of Neo and herself directly contradicted Petunia's new "give a damn about no one but yourself" attitude. They burned their way into her esophagus, making her choke up with tears.  
  
She forcibly wiped them off and pointed her finger at a picture of Neo, screaming "No! No more tears! I could drown in all the tears I've shed for you. You don't deserve them anymore!" With that everything stopped; the mounting feeling that she had ingested poison, the hum of so many passionate nights, and the increasing density of the room.  
  
She stood in the middle of the small cabin for a moment, expecting it to explode any second now. The urge struck her to through all the pictures into the fire, so she fallowed it with zeal. She sat cross-legged in front of the fire, watching as every lighthearted image burned, bubbled, and twisted into hot gray goop.  
  
She fell into an uneasy sleep in front of the fire. The fumes warped and skewed her grasp on negation. Heavy eyes folded back and opened the doorway to the beast of truth, the very same beast she refused to acknowledge. Past the thick wooden walls and dense trees tops, past the stars in the sky and the constitution of oblivion, he came to her.  
  
Petunia was laying, face down on the floor, dreaming her sweet innocent dreams, when Neo touched her. His hand pulled her out of her skin into the realm that exists between the shadow of daylight and the face of the blue moon. Only in this realm could they talk with out fear or restriction, only there could they be free. Petunia laid there with her eyes closed, relishing his warm caress, not daring to believe it wasn't a dream.  
  
Eyes still closed she felt his lips touch hers. They were hot, unyielding, and almost hungry in the way they tasted her live flesh. His hand ran down her back and lifted her from the floor. Fare too quickly for Petunia's tastes it was over; he had dematerialized in her arms. She stood on her knees, lips tingling, eyes burning, and heart resonating with an unmistakable beat. "Oh Neo," she said into thin air. "Why do you insist on torturing me like this?"  
  
"Because you refuse to remember me," said a soft voice from behind her.  
  
Petunia spun around on the floor and then saw him, standing magnificently by the door, a faint glow around him. "Neo!" Petunia screamed before getting up and running toward him. But before she reached him he backed away and stared at her with a stony expression. Petunia's smile faded as she said, "I could never forget you. You know that?"  
  
He shook his head with out taking his eyes off her. "No," he said, "you remember my body. You remember what we shared in that bed," he said tilting his head to the corner. "But what about what we shared out side these walls? What of them?"  
  
"I don't know what you mean."  
  
"I think you do. I know you do." He spoke slow and eloquently, like he had been basking in the breath of the universe. He casually walked around to the other side of the couch, dragging his hand over the fabric as he went. "Do you remember what drew you to me in the first place?"  
  
Petunia just stood there. She had never been asked such an honest question in her life, and if truth be told, she couldn't remember.  
  
Neo sensed this and said, "Perhaps my reason will help you. When I ran into you out side that library, I was a child. I had run countless number of women into the ground just for fun. And you were so much younger then me. What could you possibly know about life, about love? I fond your little crush on me amusing, no matter how well I knew you from my dreams. But you didn't give up; you persisted and made your intentions blatantly clear. No other woman had ever done that. You surprised me. And that's what made me put my guards down. You once told Lily that I had thought you to live. Well you did just the same for me. For the first time I thought of life as something more then trivial, as much more then a game. You brought me out of my infancy long after I'd left home. I couldn't help but fall in love with you."  
  
Petunia stood there, feeling a little reprimanded, and almost silly for carrying on the way she had been. "When you met me," she started, letting herself talk through her heart, "I saw in you… everything I wanted to be. I saw the strength I could never handle. I saw the heroism and love for all creatures I thought only existed in fairy tales. And so much more then that, I felt complete around you. The first breath I took after meeting you... was the first breath I had ever taken in my life. I felt real, I felt… safe. I hadn't felt safe in so long, not since I was in the arms of my sister as a small child."  
  
Neo looked down on her with the kind of side grace that makes the stars fade into unforgiving gray skies. "Then why are you running from her? What could possibly convince you that hiding from Lily, from the one person that could help you, is a good idea?"  
  
Her hands shook as crushing winds bore down on her most precious of lies. With the force of a hurricane a single, small tear drew a line down her face like a snake across desert sands. "I don't think the end defends the means. I don't want her to take you away from me. If- if I could just hold on to my independence from her, then at least in my fantasies we can still be together. Before you I relied on Lily to keep me from falling apart. As wonderful as they were, I don't want to go back to those days."  
  
"So you would let her die for pride's sake?"  
  
It took Petunia a moment for her to realize that he was talking about the giants and this Voldemort character. "There's nothing left for me in this life. Everything has been ripped away from me; I can't even have children anymore. There should be nothing left in this life for her either. It's only fare."  
  
"No children," he said, raising his eyebrow. "I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you. Leave this place, now." And with that he turned and disappeared through the front door.  
  
Petunia stood there, wide eyed and heart racing. Could he possibly mean what she thought he meant? "Neo, wait!" she yelled, picking up her coat and scrambling through the door.  
  
It was very dark outside, and there was no sign of life anywhere. She strained her eyes, looking as far down the path as nature would allow. The deepest core of her soul begged the powers that be for some sort of sign that he was still out there. Then, with a great leap of relief, she saw something move in the distance, or at lest she thought she saw something.  
  
She ran in that direction, not caring if it were real or not. The gravel cut into her bare feet but she didn't care. She picked up speed with every galloping step, and soon she couldn't stop even if she wanted to. The trees raced pass her, stretching their great leaved fingers out at her in dispirit attempts to catch her. Perched atop one of these wise trees was a raven, its deep yellow eyes piercing the cold night sky. It cawed and stretched out its black wings, catching the breath of omitted instinct. It soared over her head just as she slowed, then stopped. She was, again, standing before the curtain hiding her majestic gazebo.  
  
She could barely support her own weight anymore so she stayed motionless, panting like a sled dog. The hairs on her arms stood up and screamed, terrified as they bore witness to the gates of Hell. Petunia paid it no attentions, if this was were Neo wanted her to be then so be it. With cold slashed hands she threw back the curtain.   
  
There it stood, just as she had left it. A goddess above all others it still sang to her; quiet and soothing in contrast to her delirious heart. She took several cautious steps forward and stretched out her pink hand. The very tip of her finger ever so gently touched the nearest pole, as though she were afraid it would explode the second it met her skin. Slowly she moved forward, right into the middle of the transparent floor.  
  
She closed her eyes and envisioned Neo's arms wrapped tightly around her. It was so cold her hands started to hurt, so she placed them in her pockets. But she withdrew them at once; something sharp had stabbed the inside of her fingernail. She watched as the blood slowly oozed out of the cut. It served to prove that she was actually alive, she'd been holding to the contrary for quite some time.  
  
Sticking her finger in her mouth she reached around and used the opposite hand to pull out the culprit. It was the rose she had intended to bring to that very spot the fallowing evening. She raised it to eye level and watched it. It seemed to beat like a heart, it pulsated rhythmically even though there was no wind and her hand was perfectly still. Then, as gently as tracing paper caught in the wind, a butterfly landed on the tip of the rose. The pulsating stopped the second its tiny insect legs touched it.  
  
The butterfly opened its beautiful wings revealing a pearl colored design on its pure white body. Petunia had never seen such a butterfly, and come to think of it, she'd never seen a butterfly at this of the year. Something from the furthest corner of her mind was triggered, it's voice trickled up from her subconscious as carefully as a mothers healing touch, and presented itself anew. "I shall come back as a butterfly," it said, "and swing on the stars above your head as you sleep."  
  
Petunia stared at the insect with her mouth hanging wide open. She stuck her index finger right up close to it and the butterfly walked, casually onto it. Petunia exhaled very slowly and concentrated hard on her own breath. A small giggle interrupted one breath, then another, and soon she completely lost control. She stood there laughing hysterically at the butterfly on her finger, her eyes misting over with mirth. It was the first time she'd laughed seen the supposed forty year old man's birthday party.  
  
She wiped off her eyes and set both the butterfly and the rose on the floor. She smiled and said, "Fly, Neo. Fly above the moon itself and never look back. Go on. I'll be alright now."  
  
But she was so very wrong about that. Reflected in the crystal she saw something that made her blood run cold. She turned, looked up, and screamed like she had never screamed before. Her shout frightened several far away birds and forced them to take flight. Towering twenty-three feet above her she saw the dirty, bearded face of a very maniacal giant. He smiled wickedly at her and sent it's hand plummeting toward Earth. Petunia ducked, still screaming, and through her arms over her head. The giants hand crashed through the top of the gazebo, shattering it and sending shards of glittering crystal in every direction. Petunia felt the humongous hand wrap around her body and she was lifted into the air.  
  
The giant turned her around and Petunia didn't struggle for fear of being dropped. The raven that had swooped passed her earlier was perched on the giant's shoulder, evidently it was his messenger.  
  
"Say goodbye to your quaint surroundings, Muggle. You won't be seeing it alive again," the giant said. Petunia slumped in a dead faint. 


	9. The Warehouse Snare

Chapter Nine  
The Warehouse Snare  
  
In periods of uncertainty one can always find erroneous havens, a place where the damned can clam sanctuary. A place that calls to vagrants, rouges, blasphemers, heroes, and saints alike. Voldemort and his minions were growing dangerously powerful at this time. Dozens of our greatest witches and wizards had been destroyed by now, and Muggles were being killed off for sport by the dozen. Voldemort feared only one person… Dumbledore. For this reason the wizarding village of Hogsmeade, which sat in the shadow of the glorious Hogwarts castle, beckoned the weary public into its waiting arms.  
  
But these were dispirit times and the Death Eaters (the creatures under Voldemort's wings) were getting bolder. The streets of Hogsmeade teamed with Death Eaters that were clawing their way through our defenses, and we were none the wiser. I had kept the threat of Voldemort from my sister because I didn't want to frighten her. I didn't want her involved. I, unfortunately, was unsuccessful.  
  
Dumbledore had been summoned to the Three Broomsticks, a pub in Hogsmeade, to discuses the growing giant issue. He sat nursing his drink on a stool in front of the bar as he watched his fellow witches, wizard, and goblins talk lightheartedly. His mind was bogged down with the gray thoughts swimming around up there. He knew that at any moment Voldemort could be knocking at our door, mine and James'. But there was no proof and his hands were tide until there was.  
  
He gazed into the mirror behind the bar and noticed that someone was watching him at the door to the Three Broomsticks. The moment their eyes met the man made a small movement with his hand. Dumbledore got to his feet and joined him.  
  
"We have a problem," he whispered before motioning Dumbledore to a secluded table.  
  
"What do you have for me, Ardief?" Dumbledore asked as soon as he had sat down.  
  
"The giants are getting restless. They're threatening to join the Death Eaters if we don't promise them Mr. Potter within the week."  
  
"And the Blackguard?"  
  
"They're tired of hiding. We need them more then we need the giants. We can trust them. But they want a home and I don't think there's a way to convince the Ministry that they're not dangerous. The Aurors are going to hunt them down until they're extinct. It's as sick as the Death Eaters hunting Muggles. Why can't the see that?"  
  
"Calm yourself, where there's a will there's a way. What about the States?"  
  
"Well they do have a lot of forests for them to hide in. They'd be comfortable there. I have a cousin in Georgia that would be more then willing to help… But that would make them useless to us here and alert the giants to them at the same time."  
  
"I know. I know," Dumbledore said, pulling his hand through his hair. "I want you to send him a message at any rate. Tell him to alert the wizarding government in America that we might need their help. This is fast becoming an international problem. We'll keep it as a last option."  
  
"I will. And it's a she by the way. What should I tell the giants? We need a solution to them now."  
  
"Tell them that if they really want peace they'll have to wait. James is stubborn he flat out won't go without Lily. I need more time with her; I know I can convince her to corporate. Arrange a meeting with the leader of the Blackguard. Perhaps meeting her will convince Lily that she can put a little faith into what we're trying to do."  
  
"How is she? Lily I mean."  
  
"She's at the breaking point. She can hide it very well but there's been a lot of family pressure on top of all this mess. And I have a funning feeling about her sister-"  
  
A hooded man came bursting into the pub. He seemed to have been running. He was going so fast that he ran a witch into the ground, and he seemed to be having a great deal of trouble in catching his breath. After helping the witch to her feet he ran across the bar to Dumbledore and Ardief's table.  
  
"They're going to kidnap her!" he panted out at once, slouching against the table. "They- They want her…"  
  
"Who's going to kidnap whom?" Dumbledore asked in alarm.  
  
"Lily. The giants want Lily. They say if James doesn't come after they find her they'll kill her."  
  
Dumbledore jumped to his feet. The whole pub was watching now and there was no point in him keeping his voice down. "Are you sure? How do you know?"  
  
"Dead sure, I heard them talking about it in the forest."  
  
"They don't have her yet, do they?"  
  
"No. No they don't know where she is yet. You have to hurry. Take her to The Warehouse; it's the only place safe enough."  
  
"The Warehouse. Yes, The Warehouse," he mumbled before shooting like a ballistic missile from the pub.  
  
The Warehouse is a system of tunnels and caves ten feet under an old abandoned automobile factory. It was built so my people could have a place to hide if the Muggles ever fond out about us. It is widely considered to be the safest magical place in twelve-hundred miles. But the curses set down to protect the entrance have degraded over time, and the giants had already learned to penetrate it. No one knew this… no one but the Death Eaters that is.  
  
And The Blackguards - oh how I wish I had trusted them. They were willing to help, they were capable of helping. But I didn't listen, my foolish pride got in the way. They are a community of giants that have broken away from the rest of their internal government. They are renegades, and if I had listened to them, none of this would have happened. 


	10. Escape from Salvation

Chapter Ten  
Escape from Salvation  
  
Petunia laid with her hands and feet bound in the middle of a torch bordered circle. Two giants sat arguing before her, and their angry voices grabbed her consciousness and forced it to the surface. She wiggled and struggled against the cords that were cutting into her skin. She stopped after she spotted the pair in front of her. Laying herself out flat she listened.  
  
"-so stop being a cowered," one was saying.   
  
"I'm not a cowered. And you still haven't answered my question. What's up with the Muggle?" the female testified.  
  
"She's Lily's sister."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So we need bate. The entrance to The Warehouse is right under our feet. We've been able to crake most of their defenses but the farther down you go the stronger the spells become. Lily would never leave her sister."  
  
"And that's a good thing?"  
  
The first giant rolled his eyes and slapped the female up side the head. "You're thicker then a troll. Of course it's a good thing! As long as Lily's unprotected we can take her. Potter will have no choice but to come groveling to us knowing we have his wife."  
  
"But if he thinks the negotiations have dissolved wouldn't he just send the Arours after us?"  
  
"Of course he wouldn't."  
  
"But how do you know? By doing this we could very well have signed our own death warrants."  
  
"Are you questioning me?!" he yelled making the whole place rumble.  
  
"I'm just trying to knock some sense into you. There's no need to get involved in any of this-"  
  
"Or perhaps you just want to join the wizards."  
  
"How could you say such a thing? That would be treason!"  
  
"Exactly. Keep your nose clean," he said getting to his mighty feet and slouching away so his head wouldn't hit the top of the ceiling.  
  
The female giant watched him apprehensively until he was out of site. She turned her head to Petunia and whispered, "I know you're awake, Muggle, so you may as well stop playing around."  
  
Petunia opened her eyes and slowly lifted herself into a sitting position. They shared a tense stare before Petunia made a brake for it. She got to the edge of the circle before being propelled backward through the air. She landed hard on the concrete floor while the giantess sat and stared. Petunia straitened herself up again, mustering up as much dignity as she could. "What do you want from me?"  
  
"Nothing much, really," the giantess said. "Your job is simple. Basically your time hear will be spent waiting, screaming, and eventually dieing. As you no doubt heard from my charming companion, you will be serving as bate."  
  
Petunia interlaced her hands to keep them from trembling. She had never been more afraid in her life. "How did you know I was going to be in that orchard? I told no one but Neo's father and-"  
  
"-your mother. Now are you so sure it was your mother you were speaking to at the funeral? With the right potion, anything is possible, my dear."  
  
She felt her stomach quiver independently from the rest of her body. "It was you?"  
  
"No, Muggle, not me. I wish you no harm. But I can not say the same thing about my brothers and sisters. They are afraid, and fear can make people do horrible things."  
  
It was fast becoming clear to Petunia why I had spoken to Dumbledore with such fear about the giant. It was also becoming clear that this was no ordinary giant. "Who are you? Why are you so eager to find James?"  
  
"My name is Fridwulfa. I am the head of an order of giants called The Blackguard. I, by no means, have a lot of authority in the giant community so I don't know exactly why the giants originally wanted James."  
  
"What do you mean, 'originally wanted'?"  
  
"For months the giants have been conducting negotiations with the wizards to take a more active role in the war in exchange for their protection. It is common knowledge that Voldemort hates James, and it doesn't make any sense to me that they would want him as their representative. It would make them obvious targets for the Death Eaters. Their only way out now is to join them. That's why they want James now; they need to appease the Dementors before they can join them. This leaves the Blackguard between a rock and a hard place. We've been able to hide among the giant's ranks very easily. Our numbers are small but we're growing steadily. We've been talking with the same people the giants have but we're no closer to getting a home of our own nor are we any closer to getting the Aurors to stop killing us. Why can't they get it through their thick heads that they're not going to survive this with out help…"  
  
Petunia's head was spinning. "Wait a minute… Wait a minute. What exactly are the Death Eaters, the Aurors, the Deventors-"  
  
"Dementors."  
  
"What ever. And, and what is this Voldemort, and what war are you talking about? Did I miss anything?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to loose you. The Aurors are dark wizard catchers but they aren't very strict about sticking to wizards, especially now a days. The Death Eaters are Voldemort's supporters. Most of them are there of their own free will, but there are rumors that Voldemort has developed a cures that will allow him to take control of any given individual. Voldemort is the one that started the war. It's basically a battle between his supporters and the rest of the world. He's bent on destroying every wizard that exists. He is the most evil, most powerful dark wizard ever and it is widely accepted that he is immortal. There are even some that fear to speak his name and that number is growing very quickly. It's not just wizards he's after anymore either. His most resent additions are the Dementors. They're… well, they're not nice. They're faceless creatures of the night. They suck the happiness from the surrounding air. They trap you in your own mind with nothing for company but the worst memories of your life. They feed on happiness. Soon you start to go mad and when they have no further use for you they suck your soul out through your mouth. They call it the Dementor's kiss. But you don't die; they would never allow something so merciful. You sit there… rocking back and forth… as mere shell… there's nothing more to you then a heart beet… drool… and shit-"  
  
"Stop!" Petunia cried clamping her hands over her ears and shaking slightly. "I don't want to know. I don't want to hear it! I don't want to believe it!"  
  
"Then why did you ask?"  
  
"I don't know! Because I'm stupid, how's that for you?"  
  
"Sounds plausible," she said with a small smile.  
  
"Why didn't Lily ever tell me?"  
  
"Probably 'cause she knew you'd react like this."  
  
"When did all this happen? Why did all this happen?" Petunia asked to try and clear her mind of the Dementors.  
  
"Why? Like I said, my brothers and sisters are scared, and very prideful. There are three types of giants in the world, the Ignorant, the Intelligent, and the Kind. These divisions aren't just a matter of disposition, they're biological. It's almost like the human blood type; we don't know the mechanism that controls it. For centuries the Ignorant, cruel and resentful as they were, ruled the Intelligent and the Kind. We tolerated this, we bit our tongue and did what ever they told us because the worst thing you could ever have on your hands is an angry Ignorant. But then one day, about forty years ago, something happened that no one could have ever predicted. A very dangerous young man killed an Ignorant. No one had ever been able to kill an Ignorant and this… child, fresh out of school was able to do it. It the rest of us hope and opened the door to revolution. But it didn't last very long. The boy that had killed the Ignorant turned out to be Voldemort. Most of the Intelligent and Kind thought this meant the change had been brought about by the devil and stopped resisting the Ignorant. By doing this they created a civil war. The Ignorant were no longer content with ruling they wanted to destroy. Those that remembered the old ways, the once that weren't slaughtered, started meeting in secret. At first we were very scattered and just talked about what we were going to do. One of the… the Ignorants tried to kill me and a group of giants that had gathered in the forest helped me escape from him. That was when I joined them, that was when I left my family. My husband, my little boy, they never knew what happened to me. We became organized when Voldemort started gaining power and it became clear that most of the giants were more then a little willing to join him. I don't know why they elected me as their leader, maybe it was because of how well I understand their desire for a home and to get away from all this destruction. If the wizards can't find us our own home then we will fight. I refuse to let my people die out because of the Ignorants spinelessness!"  
  
  
It took me several hours to get to The Warehouse after Dumbledore alerted us. James was to fallow at a ten minute distance so that if one of us was attacked the other could sneak around and help. I was traveling with Ardief Nockvan, Dumbledore's most trusted friend. James was traveling with Sirius.  
  
We didn't have much time left, there was only a half hour till sunrise and we still had a while to go to reach The Warehouse. The streets became steadily more and more deserted as we moved swiftly through the concrete jungle. When we were about a mile away from The Warehouse we started to run, the urgency of our need to get there becoming more imposing with every step.   
  
"I still think we should have told Petunia. She has the right to know," I said after a while.  
  
"We've been over this before, Muggles can't know about The Warehouse. And besides there's no reason to believe that the giants have any interest in her."  
  
'But she's not a Muggle,' I said to myself. I shook my head and said, "I have a funny feeling about this."  
  
"You have a 'funny feeling'?" he said with a smirk. "I tell you, Hun, intuition is highly over- AAAGH!" A raven had come swooping down out of no ware as they reached the intersection before the factory. The raven dashed around Ardief's flailing arms, screeching and flapping frantically. "Get this damn thing off me!" he yelled loud enough to wake the dead.  
  
I tried to grab the bird but it turned and slashed my hand from the wrist to the joint between the thumb and index finger. I leaped back and held my hand, watching, horrified, as the raven plunged it's beak into Ardief's eye. He fell to his knees, screaming as blood pored down his face and the raven proceeded to puncture his other eye. "Go, Lily, run! Run and don't stop until you reach the third chamber down!"  
  
I backed up slowly; unable to take my eyes off this gruesome seen. I impulsively put my good hand over my mouth and started to scream.  
  
"NOW!" he yelled, and the raven did its holy duty, driving its beak through his neck. Ardief made a bizarre gurgling sound, causing blood to splash up as though from a small spring, fell limp, and was dead.  
  
The raven turned its fierce yellow eyes on me; they said quite clearly, "You're next my dear." I turned sharply and ran as fast as I could. Rusted metal beams and long forgotten fire escapes darted passed me in a lifeless ballet of panic. The night closed in on me and the faster I ran the farther my sanctuary seemed to become. Time slowed and I watched, as though outside myself, my cloak catch the wind and ripple out past my scampering feet. I watched as my boots hit puddles like oversized bullets and shattered the murky water. I ducked and squeezed my way through fallen construction beams and mutilated chicken wire. My breath became painful and visible inside my own body, it fashioned its own messengers of anguish; tearing at the soft tissue of my lungs. Twice I tripped over unseen obstacles and thought that at any moment the raven would surely kill me. Turning the corner into an alley way I saw the light of the fading moon. It drew my gaze in that direction and led me safely to the door of the factory, right in the middle of the alley.  
  
I threw open the door with great relief and slammed it shut behind me. I kept my eyes shut tight and stood, panting with my back against the cold metal. 'I'm here,' I thought, trying to control my heart, 'thank God I made it.'  
  
"Lily, move!" I heard someone say. On instinct I duct and covered my head. The sound of metal on metal rang through my ears. My eyes shot open and found two enormous shins three feet in front of me. They fallowed the shins up an incredible distance and met the glare of a very amused giant. The giant raised the axe that he held like a toothpick and swung it at me again. Quite apart from conscious thought my legs carried me half way across the long cold gray building.  
  
I dove, headfirst into a windowless car and started searching for my attendant. To my horror I saw Petunia, crouched in a Vianivect circle guarded by a very fierce looking giantess. Our eyes met and petunia mouthed the word, "It's a trap."  
  
That was the least of my problems at the moment; the giant that had swung the axe at me was now lifting the car I was in like it were a toy. I swiveled around the tattered magenta leather seat, wildly looking for anything that would help me. Above me and closing in fast was a catwalk nearly a story off the floor. I crawled to the right side of the car, as far over as I could, and with a great leap of faith, I through myself out the car window. I soared like a hawk through the air and the tip of my fingers touched the wire mesh of the catwalk. I clung to the mesh and tried to stop myself from falling and going forward at the same time. At the apex of my forward motion I was nearly wrenched away from the catwalk, with all the might in time and space itself I held on and heard three of my fingers brake. Because of the glorious effects of adrenaline I felt no pain and I was able to pull myself up even though the metal literally cut me to the bone.  
  
Blood dripping down from my hands I dashed down the stairs. I caught a glimpse of Petunia through the bars; she was sitting, staring, like a zombie. It only then occurred to me to take out my wand. The giant barred down on me like a bull elephant in heat. "Pedieohered!" I called and the giant stopped in his tracks, his feet stuck to the floor. The jinx was only temporary so I made a run for it.   
  
On the other side of the room Petunia was pleading with Fridwulfa for help. "Please, can't you do something? I- If you don't agree with him then stop him!"  
  
"I can't," she said looking in on us, "they don't know who among them is Blackguard. If I act they'll surely kill all of us and my sacrifices will be worth nothing!"  
  
"He'll kill her!"  
  
"He would never kill her. He needs her alive, she's no use to him dead. All he'll do is throw her in there with you. Things can go in the circle but they can't come out."  
  
"And what good will that do?!"  
  
"I was in charge of setting up the circle, of deciding where it would be so one of the Death Eaters could come in and cast it. It was the only help they would give us."  
  
"So?!"  
  
"So I put it on top of the entrance to The Warehouse. That bolt," she said pointing at a bolt welded to the floor, "marks the entrance. No matter how hard she fights only three trained Aurors could ever hope to take down a full grown giant. She will be put in hear and as soon as you're three levels down in The Warehouse you'll be safe!"  
  
Petunia turned her head sharply in my direction just in time to see me get tossed across the room by the back hand of the giant. I looked up at him, blood running down my nose, my hands shriveled, swollen, and unable to touch anything.   
  
"Give up?" he asked me.  
  
I got up and ran into what was formally the manager's office. Huddling under an old wood desk I looked around for something to throw at the giant. There was nothing there but a broken chair, a wastepaper basket, and the desk itself. What was I going to throw at him? Then it hit me to throw the desk at him, the picture window was at lest that big. It was very painful for me to hold my wand and I dropped it once before taking aim. "Oustile!" I yelled, standing up very quickly. The desk crashed through the window, showering the concrete floor with bits of glass, and then flew up, hitting the giant squarely on the head.  
  
The giant felt the tip of his eye, which was now bleeding, and turned his wrathful gaze on me. He was finished with playing games. He bent down and reached through the window of the office, he picked me up with the greatest of ease and lifted me so that we were eye to bloody eye. "You shouldn't have done that, little lady. I have news for you; I don't give a damn about you, or James, or Voldemort. No wizard is going to scare me into submission. You know what that means little one? It means it's time to die."  
  
"Do something!" Petunia yelled to Fridwulfa.  
  
Fridwulfa looked from Petunia to me and back. If she stopped him he'd know she was the part of the Blackguard, he already was suspicious and that was all the excuse he needed to suck her memory dry. But if she- yes it was the only way, she couldn't sit and watch while an innocent was killed.  
  
She got up and barreled toward the giant slamming him into the floor. His hand opened as he hit the concrete and I was able to roll out of his grasp. Fridwulfa turned to me and yelled, "Go, run to the circle, and get into The Warehouse, now!"   
  
I ran to Petunia. She stood in the middle of the circle, her hands shaking over her mouth, her eyes bulging. "I don't know how to disrupt the circle," I told her. She didn't answer; she just stood there and stared blankly at the pair of giants.  
  
"I knew you were no good. I'll have your head for this, Blackguard!"  
  
"You can't stop us, Zurben, there are too many of us and were right under your nose. My children will bring you down, you wait and see, Voldemort will fall and the giants will be extinct. They may not remember our name but they will remember our legacy."  
  
"They'll never believe you're any better then a plague! I will very much enjoy cracking open that head of yours and killing every one of your supporters, humans among them. Voldemort holds our only salvation and I am truly sorry you don't see that."  
  
"The devil always turns on his dark angels eventually, I'm sorry you don't see that."  
  
"I'm going to relish killing your dreams before you, and then slicing your neck. Would that be a satisfactory death for you?"  
  
Fridwulfa smiled a kind of wicked smile that sang, 'have I got a secret for you'. "You honestly think your going to get anything from me? Do you really think I would let you kill me?"  
  
"I don't see that you have much choice in the matter." Zurben said with a great deal of satisfaction.   
  
"Don't I?" Fridwulfa said seductively. She reached in her pocket and pulled out what was unmistakably a bomb.  
  
I turned back to Petunia and started walking around the circle desperately looking for a hole in the circle I could pull Petunia through. "In here," she said, not taking her eyes off Fridwulfa.  
  
"What did you say?" I asked.  
  
"In here. The entrance is in here." She sounded more like a talking doll then a woman, but I trusted her none the less.  
  
"It's amazing what Muggles will sell for the right price. Know the truth before you die, Zurben; we will never yield!" she yelled before setting off the detonator.  
  
Petunia and I had just reached the bottom of the second flight of stairs when the blast went off. A wall of fire came flooding through the chamber and I grabbed Petunia's hand jumping the last few steps. I through my hands over my eyes and the flame reached the third chamber. We were no more then two inches from the fire but it burned neither of us, the charm set down ages ago was still functioning and it protected us from the heat. 


	11. Everlasting Memories

Chapter Eleven  
Everlasting Memories  
  
I pulled Petunia to her feet and said, "Come on we have to get out of hear and find James."  
  
I never let go of Petunia's arm as we navigated through the tunnels, and I had the feeling that if I did Petunia would stop walking. She had never been captured before, never held as bate, never had to run for her life from a ball of fire, and the experience had left her trapped in her own mind. I opened a side hatch that was connected to the sewer and I must admit I had never smelled anything as beautiful as water and human waste. We trudged through the liquid, splashing it all over ourselves and making rats scurry. By the light of my wand I found the nearest hatch to the street opened it, helping Petunia through first then went through myself.   
  
Petunia backed herself into a wall the second she got to her feet and then slid down it with the same mindless stare, pulling her legs right up close to her. We had ended up one alley over from the factory and a golden flickering light over the roof of the building we were next to told us that it was on fire. I heard foot steps running along the opposing street and since I could no longer move my fingers I prayed that it wasn't a Death Eater or a nosey Muggle.   
  
Two very familiar profiles went running past the alley. "James!" I yelled. I heard four feet skid to a stop and run in the opposite direction. James and Sirius appeared several seconds latter, relief spreading over both their anguished faces as they saw me and Petunia. I ran out and met James half way, we then held each other like there was no tomorrow. When he let go I can honestly say that I had never seen him look so worried. He lifted my hands up by the elbow and asked, "Are you alright? What happened?"  
  
"I'll be alright," I assured him. "They took Petunia, I don't know why. I think the head of the Blackguard is dead."  
  
"How do know," he asked in astonishment.  
  
"Because she was the one that blew up the building. James, it was Hagrid's mother."  
  
There was a very painful silence. Hagrid, a half giant himself, was the Hogwarts gamekeeper and a very dear friend. James cast around for something to say and spotted Petunia, shacking in a corner like a frightened kitten. "Will she be alright?"  
  
I looked over to Petunia and said, "I don't know."  
  
"We need to get you to a hospital. Did you see what happened to Ardief?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I saw," said simply. Just then a great, shuddering gasp came from Petunia; she had woken up from her trance. She sat hugging her legs and crying into her knees. I came up to her and shook her head up. "It's alright, Petunia," I said. "It's all over now, no more giants."  
  
Petunia shook her head wildly and said, "No it's not alright. I can't take it anymore, Lily. I tried I really did. I don't ever want to go through anything like that again! But it will happen won't it? Because of this war, someone wants you and your family dead! I love you so much, Lily, and I can't hide that anymore. No matter how hard I try, I can't deny you and it's driving me mad. Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
I scooped Petunia up and held her; it felt like holding steel, "I'm so sorry. If there was anything I could do-"  
  
"I just wish I could forget."   
  
With that all my emotions dissolved. It became all so simple, all so evident. I turned to Sirius and James, Sirius took a step forward but James held him back, "Lily, don't," he begged. But one of the things you should have realized about me by now is that once I decide to do something nothing can turn me back.  
  
"I know what I'm doing. Go and wait for me at the corner. I'll be over in a few minutes." They stood there, staring at me with a tragic look. "Go on." James had to force Sirius to turn because he knew what was going threw my head. I turned back to Petunia, who was teetering on sanity's edge and said, "Do you hate me?"  
  
The question almost physically knocked her backward. "What kind of question is that?" she asked to avoid answering.  
  
"Please, it's important," I said, and when she looked in my eyes she knew I was telling the truth.  
  
"Yes. No. I don't know."  
  
I shock my head with out the slightest hint of a grudge and said, "How much are you willing to pay to forget."  
  
"What relevancy dose that have?" she asked.  
  
"How much?"  
  
She looked like a reproved child, there was nothing left now but the truth. "I would give anything. I don't want to remember the look on Fridwulfa's eyes when she realized she would never see the light of another day. Why, you can't make me forget? Can you?"  
  
"Not forget… rework." I said with a bit of reserve in my voice.  
  
"I don't understand. You're a witch not a god."  
  
"Who says God can't be a witch?" I asked. "It's a charm that isn't widely used since the discovery of the Imperius curse. That's the curse that Voldemort's been using to draft spies. But the Imperius curse has recently become illegal. The Rainashe, the charm I'm talking about, is band for wizard to wizard use. But no one knows you're a witch."  
  
Petunia reached out and touched my face, silent tears running down her face and into the night. "Please, Lily. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. If you can do something about it, even if it means taking the coward's way out, I beg of you do it."  
  
I looked at my fallen angel, shivering with cold and desperation, and I fully realized that I again held her life in my hands. With one flick of my wand I could rewrite her entire life on her shoulders; she needn't have been locked in that closet, she didn't have to carry the weight of a dead fiancée, she didn't have to worry about the war, or know that she was the last thing a very powerful giantess ever saw. I took a deep breath and said, "You do realize that you will never be able to see me again?"  
  
"What dose the charm entail?"  
  
"It's a very difficult charm and there will be several pot holes, I don't even think Dumbledore could perform the charm all the way through. You will remember me; nothing could ever make family forget each other. But the inherent repugnance you hold toward me will be enhanced. You will remember none of the good times we shared. They will be replaced. You won't remember anything magical, because of how much you fight it. You'll have to give up all that you've known, because any contact with that which is familiar will run the risk of reversing the charm, it's one of the Rainashe's greatest failings."  
  
"Will I remember Neo?"  
  
"Not if you don't want to-"  
  
"I don't want to," she said, again hearing Neo's words, 'Because you refuse to remember me'. "I don't want anything to do with him. It's just too… painful."  
  
I put my hand behind Petunia's head and said, "Once we do this there's no going back."  
  
"I know. What about my… talents? If I don't know I have them how will I be able to control them?"  
  
"It's all subconscious now. Because you've been suppressing them for so long it's become second nature, you won't have to think about it anymore, you'll just do it."  
  
"Alright then, what happens next?"  
  
"After I perform the charm you will be rendered unconscious. There will be some disorientation when you wake up, and you will still remember everything. The memory rewrite will slowly take place throughout a twenty-four hour period. The most resent memories will be the first to go, and then the charm will work its way back. You will be able to see me until the charm is finished, but I'll leave as soon as I can."  
  
Petunia nodded her head and let out a very small, rather forced laugh.   
  
"What?"  
  
She shook her head and said, "Nothing. Just something Adrian once told me."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Adrian. The boy the creamed me when we were young. He said, 'Sooner or later you're going to end up unconscious in an alley and it's going to be because of her'. I guess he was right."  
  
I didn't know what to say to that so I didn't say anything at all. I reached into my cloak and, with a great deal of effort, pulled out my wand. I stuck it between my index finger and middle finger, and held it close to my palm with my thumb so I didn't have to try and bend any of the broken fingers. "When I first bought this wand Mr. Ollivander, the sales wizard, told me it was a good wand for charm work. I guess that's finally coming in handy. Ready?"  
  
"As read as I'll ever be." She paused then said abruptly, "Lily, I want you to have this." She took Neo's ring off her finger and handed it to me. "I have no use for it anymore."  
  
I rolled the ring around in the palm of my hand; it glistened and told me of passion, hope, and beauty. Ignoring all pain I closed my hand tightly around it and blocked all its heavenly rays.  
  
"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've ever cased you," she said.  
  
Under normal circumstances I would have said something very comforting, but there was no time; the sun was beginning to rise and I was starting to loose my nerve. I raised my wand over my head and started the charm, swinging it in large concentric circles. Bright silver sparks started coming out of the tip of the wand, growing larger as the circles became bigger. I spoke the incantation with as much force as I could; given the fact that I wasn't entirely sure I was doing the right thing. Slowly I lowered the wand, keeping the circle at the same size now. When the wand was right in front of Petunia our eyes met and I saw the anxiety buried deep inside. She closed her eyes tightly and I stopped the circles with a commanding downward motion ending squarely on her chest. The silver light surrounded her and lifted her hair like a powerful wind rising gold thread to the heavens. All her muscles tightened and jutted, then they relaxed and she fell face forward into her lap.  
  
I sat there on my knees, looking down on this pathetic limp figure and said allowed, "What have I done?" Because I was too big of a coward to be a big sister I had erased all we had held dear for most of our lives. There was nothing left to do but move her into a more comfortable position, this I did and then walked as quickly as I could into the street. A gust of wind caught me off guard and I dropped Petunia's ring. I turned and watched as it rolled into the gutter. I stared at the gutter that held such a beautifully bruised piece of life and thought, 'How appropriate.' I turned left and saw James and Sirius arguing with my mum. "Mum? What are you doing hear?" I asked, walking toward them.  
  
"Dumbledore said that someone wanted to kidnap you and told me were you were. You could have told me yourself, I've been worried sick. And James hear wouldn't let me move. What's going on?"  
  
"It's alright, Mum, you missed the excitement. Petunia's not coming back."  
  
"Petunia? What, you don't mean she's dead?" she said with a modicum of confusion and absolutely no concern.  
  
"No, Mum, she not dead. She's brainwashed," I said in a dead sort of way. It really hadn't fully sunk in at that moment that I would never know my Petunia again.  
  
"Oh," she said. She shrugged her shoulders and looked around a bit. "Well, good reddens to bad rubbish, I say. That girl always was a waste of skin."  
  
I slowly turned to her; there was nothing left in me but endorphins and anger. "How dare you," I said slowly. "Just who the Hell do you think you are?"  
  
She looked at me with mild surprise and said, "I think I'm her mother and there for entitled to judge her."  
  
"'Judge her'," I repeated indignantly. I balled what was left of my hand into a fist and said,   
"Judge this!" before striking her with the back of my hand. She flew back and hit the floor, I tried to move forward with the purpose of hitting her again but James and Sirius held me back on either side.   
  
I struggled against them until Sirius whispered in my ear, "Stop it, Lily, she's not worth it."  
  
I straightened myself up and lifted my head with pride. I spate at her and yelled, "Get out of my life you heartless bitch!" She took one last fleeting look at me and then took off in the opposite direction without a backward glance.  
  
"Come on, Lily. Let's go home," James said, and he started leading me down the road. I looked back at the alley Petunia laid in when I reached the intersection and fond that she was awake, staring at me. I didn't stop because I didn't want James or Sirius to see, but before we turned the corner Petunia mouthed her last words to me, "Thank you."  
If I hadn't of hit my mother she very well might have taken Harry when we were killed, but she never did want anything to do with my family after that. And… well, you know what happens next. Dumbledore got the proof he needed to get us into a safe house only to find us dead less then a week after we'd moved in. Sirius was framed for leaking our position to Voldemort and was sent to Azkaban (without a trial). But what ever happened to Petunia? She was able to find an apartment before her memory ran out on her. Desperate for the love I could no longer provide for her she clung to the first man that paid any attention to her… Vernon. He was quite normal but never was afraid of witches and wizards. Out of instinct, as a sort of safety mechanism, Petunia changed that very quickly, making up several horror story's about me to fan the flame of his aversion toward anything abnormal. She married him, of course, and then became pregnant with Dudley. He is her miracle child. She remembered being in a motorcycle crash and the doctors telling her she'd never have children, even if she didn't remember Neo. Therefore to her, Dudley is worth every fattening treat, every overlooked incident of bullying, and every overpriced toy. I became pregnant with Harry only a few months after Dudley was conceived, and it served (to her at lest) as proof that I was trying to "steal her thunder".   
  
Being presented with Harry after we, James and I, had died, was like having the knives of the past carve through her bones, but as she had never seen Harry before, it didn't unhinge anything. She kept Harry in the closet under the stairs as a sort of mental "Ha ha" to me, even though she didn't know that was what she was doing.  
  
It was, by no means, the end of us. Nothing, not even the gods, can tear sisters apart forever. There is a land that rests between death and dreams. This is a place that a very select few ever enter; you must be on destiny's right hand to even be considered. It was the residence of this land that help Neo come to Petunia the day she was captured by the giants. The spirits of time, space, and eternity are the guardians of this place; it is their silver wings that Petunia rides on when she lays down to sleep every night. Here there is no pain to obscure pleasure, no doubt to complicate passion. Here I can find my only respite, because here there is no regret to haunt us beyond our graves, and tear us to peaces before death reclaims its children.   
  
Search beyond the green valleys if you ever come to visit. Look past the trees, and flowers, and groves of naked souls, and I will guaranty you this: In the ripples of a child's first laugh you will always find Neo and Petunia, dancing under their crystal gazebo. There I will forever have my blond haired, blue eyed little girl, lying underneath the stars, which glisten like millions of diamonds in the iris of God. Here you can see for yourself that we will always be angles of yore. If you leave this place with nothing more in your heart then what you came in with then at least know this: There's a force watching over us… it's your job to find it. 


End file.
